


If I Fall

by Millijana



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Alternative Universe - FBI, F/M, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Parent Death, Past Child Abuse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-23
Updated: 2016-03-14
Packaged: 2018-03-08 18:53:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 19
Words: 41,686
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3219704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Millijana/pseuds/Millijana
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Being the head of the task force Director Anderson has brought to life Agent Shepard has made it her goal to take down Cerberus and their unethical goals. Together with her team she looks into every lead bringing them closer to the organization when a new member is introduced to the team and suddenly the stagnant investigation get's a new lead. Agent Vega is a great addition to the team, having his own experiences and enough reasons to want to take down Cerberus himself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A New Agent

Tuesday, 10 am

It was hard not to look at them. Her Director with a person walking through the office was something that caught everyone’s attention and Ella could also see the glances that were exchanged between desks and she could read them as well. Who was that man?

Ella tried not to pay too much attention. She had enough to do and since they were still outside in the big office everything was well – it or better he wasn’t her concern. Though that changed when she heard the background noise getting louder because the door to their little group office was opened and both men entered the room.

“ – and this is your desk,” Anderson continued talking and now eventually and ultimately interrupted Ella’s work on filtering information from reports being handed in by other teams.

With a frown she turned her head and looked at the two men, now with more attention, who were standing beside the desk opposite of hers. She leaned back in her chard and turned it a little bit so she had a better view – because it was worth it.

Director Anderson and that man, who seemed to be a new Agent on her little task force, who yet reminded her more of an advertisement for a protein product.

“This is special Agent Shepard, leader of the Cerberus task force,” Anderson introduced her.

Like hat had been necessary. The whole damn country probably knew who she was after first solving the case around a senator and preventing the bombing of the congress – and then two years later being in the middle of an internal affairs investigation about her ties to Cerberus, while she’d been charged with corruption and holding back crucial evidence concerning Cerberus.

Eventually charges had been dropped, but only after her cover for that operation had been blown.

“Shepard, this is Special Agent Vega,” Anderson continued after none of them had said a single word. “He’s been transferred from the L.A. bureau to support our efforts here.”

Her face was still a frown when she blinked a few times and tried to understand what Vega had done that Anderson had requested him. Because that was the only way someone would join this task force. Upon request of her or the Director himself.

Ella eventually got up from chair and offered her hand for a handshake. “It’s a pleasure to meet you – and welcome aboard, I guess.” The frown was replaced by a brief smile.

He took her hand with a pleasant firm grip and grinned. “Pleasure’s all mine.”

Before they were able to exchange anymore empty pleasantries, the Director excused himself: “Shepard, can take it from here? An hour ago the Governor called in for an important meeting and if I don’t leave now I have to deal with some very unpleasant questions why I’m late.”

She snorted amused. None of them were too happy to face the Governor at all – no matter the subject, so she understood and nodded. “Sure, I can handle the tour.”

“Thanks, Shepard. And Vega, there are a few things we have to settle when I’m back, but that has to wait at least till the afternoon. Until then Shepard will most likely be able to answer all of your questions.”

The two of them were left by their Director and looked at each other.

“He’s always like that?”

“What? On the move or disliking the Governor?” One half of her mouth was lifted into a crooked grin.

“When you put it like that, both.” His hand moved to the back of his neck and rubbed the skin there for a short moment. Ella wondered if that was what it meant for most people, insecurity.

“That would be a yes for both. Nobody likes the Governor to be honest, but you’ll see for yourself. So… what has he shown you and what’s still on the list?”

A chuckled and nodded, before he cleared his throat. “I know where the garage and his office are – and my desk obviously, but other than that, the tour was pretty short ‘till now.”

Ella nodded. She had feared that. “Good. Then let’s start with the kitchen. Probably one of the most important rooms of the whole office, since they banned the coffee machine from our office up here. Some kind of fire security protocol. Whatever… come.” She nodded towards the door and started to move, holding the door open until he was out of the room and she followed him.

 

 

Tuesday 12:30 pm

She took the last bite from her burger and cleaned her mouth with the paper napkin. “No,” Ella replied after a moment of chewing and swallowing. “She actually is as young as she looks.”

“No kidding?”

“Nope. She is one of those geniuses who make their doctor at an age where others worry about getting laid the first time or their driver’s license.” At least Ella had had other problems at the age of seventeen than a dissertation. “So,” she said after a moment of silence, “what did you do to get this job?”

Vega looked at her like he didn’t understand what she meant. Or he did too well and was just playing dumb. After knowing him for just a few hours Ella couldn’t be sure yet. “What d’ya mean?”

She sighed and frowned again – that seemed to be her favorite facial expression lately. “I mean why did he pick you? It’s not like he accepts about anyone on this little pet project of his’ so easily. It’s either him or me who decide on potential candidates. And in general they stick out for something they’ve done or achieved.”

“Is that really so?” He avoided the answer. Or he wasn’t really aware of it. Both were possible. But something told her he knew perfectly well, why he was offered this job.

She nodded and started to grin. “Yeah, it is. Though avoiding the answer won’t make me forget I asked.”

He chuckled and shook his head and Ella had to admit, that she liked that sound. “Would it be suffice to say that I ran into my own fair share of Cerberus members? The fact that I had to take lead of the team back in L.A. when our senior Agent got shot probably added to it. And some more, which I’d prefer not to talk about.”

Ella nodded. He was honest. There was probably much more, but his face which had become very serious during his words told her that it wasn’t anything he liked to think about." Okay, I can respect that. I was just curious. I knew there was an incident at L.A. but haven’t read too much of it due to my own shit storm raging here.”

This time it was Vega who nodded. “Yeah, heard of that. They gave you a hard time for the operation you started here.”

Ella sighed and shook her head. “You heard of that on the other side of the country?”

“’Course I did. It was all over the news after you did that thing two years ago with the bombing and then after you returned… Well, let’s say you’re not exactly a stranger, so media took their interest in it even on the other side of the country.

Ella shook her head with another sigh and reached for her coke. “Yeah I feared that,” she said before she took a sip from the paper cup. “So basically the whole FBI knows about it and whoever is willing to listen to crap like that.” She knew that some people have noticed it; she had known it had been on the local media, but California? That was a long way from D.C.

“Sounds about right.” He wiggled with his eyebrows once and Ella wondered what he wanted to tell her with this motion. That she shouldn’t care too much? That these people were idiots? Both of it was right, just that Ella couldn’t shake the unpleasant feeling it left inside of her.

“Well, I should maybe think of a career change then.”

Now it was Vega who frowned. “You really would consider that, just because people know what you’re willing to do to catch the bad guys?”

A wry grin stretched her lips. “No, but it makes me feel better right now. There’s probably just one thing that could stop me from doing this job. Beside death, I guess.” What wasn’t much of a joke, considering the events that had led to her stunt two years ago. Being MIA for three months and then waking up in a Cerberus facility and finding out that she more or less had been brought back from the dead by scientist who had implanted tech into her brain and heart and other places was something she still had to deal with on some days. It was something that made people still wary about her loyalties, no matter what she did or said. “Okay, ready to meet the rest of the team?” she changed the subject after she realized that she wasn’t up for any questions on that topic today. And his face was told her now that he didn’t think her remark very funny. She didn’t know why and decided not to ask, but to do what she was supposed to: introduce him to the team.

“I already wondered when you’d ask.” She grinned and this time it was him who respected her wish not to get deeper into a topic. Ella knew that at some point he would, but not today.

They left after a bit more of actual joking and trashing the remnants of their lunch. Shepard had to admit that she liked him, even after just a few hours he had spent with him. She was sure he would fit into the team quite well. He had an easy attitude, but she had already noticed that as soon as it was about the job he was serious within the blink of an eye. He seemed capable and smart. Ella still didn’t know why exactly Anderson had chosen him, but it didn’t matter, he was here and Anderson usually was right about what was best for the team.

Yet she was still curious what he’d done to be to be here. His information had been pretty vague. Asking Anderson wouldn’t help much, because he would tell her to ask Vega himself. So she would have to wait until he was ready to tell her himself, because using her security clearance to peak into his record was absolutely no option. He seemed to be a good guy and didn’t deserve this kind of disrespect and distrust.

 

 

Tuesday, 7pm

Meeting the team had proved to work out differently than Ella had expected. Her plan had been to introduce Vega to them and then assign him to Garrus’ side and get back to her own work, but apparently everyone was doing their job so well that they were still in the field or running around with errands, making calls – whatever, just doing tasks Vega would be no help with. So she had been the one who had to entertain him for the afternoon. Because, of course Anderson hadn’t been back yet, while he had made sure everyone had been so damn busy.

When they had returned to the office Garrus had been the only one there, but neck deep into work and also on the run to talk to a witness, which could lead them to a Cerberus hideout and what kept him too busy to deal with anything else, least a new member of the team. Though he was glad to meet Vega. Ella could already tell that the two of them connected – almost instantly. Exactly what she needed: not only one smart ass on her team, but two who were teaming up to kill the last bit of her patience.

So, Ella and James ended up spending the afternoon with digging through files and cases from other bureaus to piece together possible leads. Potential files were sent to them whenever particular parameters were given in the case. Victims with a science background for example or a military background (which made it always just that more difficult because she had to deal with the respective military investigative service, which was a pain to be honest – for both parties), because that was what Cerberus was, a para-military organization with a huge science funding for… well all kind of fringe science. The have found information in the past that there have been tests with cybernetics, gene manipulation and other things that made Ella cringe when she just thought about it. Even more so, since she knew she had been one of these test subjects.

Which made this actually quite tedious work of piecing together new leads something she did all the damn time. She was desperate to find them and stop them from experimenting on human beings.

But today it was a bit less tedious. It was a nice thing to have someone around not dug up in their own work, but have someone who did help her. He also managed to remind her to drink her coffee before it got cold and bring her new one whenever he went to fetch himself a new one. And not only that. He was a quick learner he only needed two hours to find something – granted, something more obvious, but nevertheless something she wouldn’t have found until three days later when she finally would have gotten to this specific file. And, to give him the well-earned credit: it was something other agents have missed or they would have been informed earlier and not have gotten just the file once the investigation was mostly over.

At the end of the afternoon they had been able to pin down a lead that was worth looking into it and once Anderson dropped by the office, they talked to him about it. Because it was a crime scene located in another state she had to talk to him first and get the costs for the travel sanctioned by him. Which was no real problem. Anderson trusted her instincts and when Ella told him that something was worth looking into it a presented an enough evidence to prove it he gave his permission for everything they could get away with.

Tomorrow at 11 am they would board the plane to Denver and from there make a long trip up into the mountains to a cabin park along a less visited hiking track. The body of a former army communications specialist had been found there two weeks ago, who had been dishonorably discharged two years prior this event, because he had been leaking information to a facility in California, close to L.A., to be specific. This facility turned out to be funded by Cerberus, which had been investigated a year ago – by SA J. Vega. So it would have been not particularly difficult to inform the task force earlier, but a small thing for Vega to remember the name of the facility. That didn’t lessen the credit he had earned here, it was just prove that there had been a good reason Anderson had requested him.

So, when Ella and James walked to their cars this evening everything had been arranged. The benefits of this multi-tasking team was that they didn’t have to arrange anything themselves, they had people in the background dealing with organizational stuff like cars and hotel rooms – or in this case a cabin in the mountains. Edi was their little wonder when it came to things like that, as well as the information wonder when it came to databases and any other task that could be done from a computer.

Before they had to part to get to their parking boxes Ella stopped and turned around to face him. It must have been a lot for him, especially since Anderson had decided the two of them would be the van who made sure there was actually a lead the team could work with. Sometimes it turned out that even promising leads were already cold, because most of the time too much time had passed and all ties were cut, before they arrived.

“Well,” she said after a moment. “You’re barely here and already out in the field… you okay?” Ella wasn’t bad with words, most of the time she knew what she had to say and when to stay silent, but with things like this it was sometimes a bit difficult. She didn’t know Vega well enough to foresee his reaction. He could either understand that she was just worried he got overwhelmed. Or, he could understand it as a question of his ability to adjust to a new and demanding situation – which wasn’t the case. He had adjusted perfectly within just one day.

But he apparently got her intention because he smiled. “Nah, it’s alright. In the thick of it is usually the place I prefer. I’m more a doin’ person that a watchin’ one.” Now his smile turned into a smirk and Ella could sense the hint of a double meaning here.

She had to grin herself and shook her head slightly. “Are you, huh? Well then, that’s good. Because we have something in common here, it’s the way I prefer it as well. Watching alone would be hella boring and wouldn’t serve me at all.”

Both of them chuckled. They exchanged a few more words for tomorrow and then called it a day, wishing each other a nice evening.

Sitting in her car Ella threw a glance at him through her rear mirror. His steps were confident, not arrogant because he had been the one finding it, but just confident because he knew what he was capable of. He knew he was a good agent, she suspected he didn’t know himself why he had been assigned to this job, but apparently he trusted Anderson’s judgment.

And so did Ella – though she had a good feeling about Vega.


	2. Traveling to the Crime Scene

_Wednesday, 09:30 am_

She sipped from her coffee and thought for a moment about how much she would love to put her sunglasses back on, but she was perfectly aware of how ridiculous this must seem on a day which had turned from sunny to cloudy within three hours.

Of course the last night had been short. Going through all available information on a lead was a habit of hers even more so when she didn’t have the backup of her usual team. Not that she doubted Vega was up for the task, but they had met each other just yesterday and working together would be something they would have to learn or at least have to get used to. So she had to make sure she had all information memorized – what had led to her sleeping on the couch and almost being late.

If it had been Garrus accompanying her or… Kaidan – even after all these months she still sometimes thought about the former member of their team who had left on his own wish – she could easily have slept on the flight. But her head tended to fall against the person sitting next to her, so this was barely an appropriate behavior for the second day. She wasn’t afraid of bodily contact; it was just that she didn’t like to overly use it.

When she looked at James she saw him yawning and wondered for a brief moment what had kept _him_ awake. He didn’t look any better than she felt. But forbade herself to think any more about it, because it was none of her business. She was just so used to being close to her team that it felt natural wondering if they had enough sleep or to worry about them in general.

She was the leader of this merry band of agents and she understood it as her responsibility to keep him in one piece and that included making sure they slept – at least more than her. Because what was okay for her to do wasn’t necessarily something she’d allow them to do, or only to a certain degree. She couldn’t even pin down why it was that way. She did trust them, most of all Garrus, who was even allowed to voice his concerns about her behavior, yet it made her almost feel uncomfortable to let them know that she had her limits.

Their gazes met and Vega started to grin halfheartedly after he took a sip from his own coffee. “You look about as shitty as I feel,” he commented her suppressed yawn.

“To be honest I have no idea how you feel, but if it’s anywhere close to what _you_ look like, it’s really crap,” Ella retorted dryly without missing a beat. She raised her eyebrows to signal him that he had to be much better at this to make her even stumbling on a smart-ass reply.

He chuckled and seemed to relax a bit more, before he took another sip from his coffee. Ella didn’t doubt he wanted to and also would be able to hold up a conversation like that for some time, but today she was glad he decided against it.

It was a pleasant thing that he knew when to stop – at least for now, because Ella also didn’t doubt that once they got more comfortable around each other he wouldn’t. He just seemed like that kind of guy. And she didn’t mean it in a bad way. Sometimes she was so caught up in things, like her thoughts, that she needed a little push. What normally was Garrus’ part would this time fall to him. A task she felt he was very capable of. Because, in all honesty, for the second day they were more comfortable and relaxed around each other than she would have expected.

Ella normally was slower with things like this. But maybe this was just him, working hard to fit in and things would slow down after a while. But only the next few days would be able to prove if her first impression of him was right or not. She knew Anderson well enough, that no matter how much he had hoped to get someone on the team – when Ella said it didn’t match, then it didn’t match and the Agent was sent home. The fact that seasoned Agents were put back onto some kind of probation was hard for some to swallow.

Though… normally the agents didn’t come from that far. So, maybe after all, no matter how much she may disagree in a few days with the director’s choice she was stuck with him.

“Yeah, we probably should go,” he said when Ella looked at the watch on the wall behind him.

She eyed him with a raised eyebrow and only half hidden surprise. Call it coincidental, but he either had the same thought a moment ago or noticed what she was looking at, but as far as she knew he didn’t have eyes in his back, nor was there a watch on her side of the room.

She agreed and they left for their gate in silence. Another thing that was pleasant so far, he didn’t have to talk. Yeah, she was sure that he could talk, keep up a conversation quite nicely, what he had proved yesterday during lunch – even after that awkward moment – but since then he had either been very professional, keeping talk to a necessary minimum while working or been respectful enough to not bother her with some annoying small talk while she was still half asleep. She just hoped the flight would be the same.

 

 

 

_Nonstop flight from Washington to Denver_

Something she didn’t have thought of was him sitting next to her with his build. Ella realized she would have to deal for the next three hours with his upper arm pressing against hers—and to her surprise it was all too bad.

Normally, when a stranger or an almost stranger (what Vega still was to her), sat next to Ella and couldn’t keep a reasonable distance she got the intense feeling of pulling back or even fleeing, when it was bad enough. She disliked unnecessary bodily contact to a degree it was almost painful. She was fine with handshaking and way of comfort when she delivered bad new to relatives of victims, but there it ended. Even someone too close to her in a queue was making her nervous. That was the reason she normally had the seat at the window or sat between two of the other team members.

Just not today and it bothered it only on one part: The part of her that was sitting next to a complete stranger on her right. While the man who was barely more than a stranger to her left didn’t give her that feeling and she found herself even leaning a bit closer to him, just to get more distance to the woman on her right.

When the flight attendance asked them what they wanted to eat both of them looked at each other and knew that they would now just get another coffee and eat something real later.

Ella had already seen the movie that was shown later, but she watched it nevertheless. Vega had been quiet till now, well except for when the coffee had come and she had stated the this one was even worse than the coffee he had picked up on his way to the airport, where Ella had chuckled and agreed. The coffee was terrible – but she was too tired to not order a second one.

Now, watching the movie he suddenly shook his head and sighed annoyed. Ella turned her head and looked at him rather puzzled.

“I have always hated when he’s doing this. Y’know, that problem with these romcoms is that it feels too much like actual life. They make the same mistakes we do and this one here is a pain to watch.”

She started to chuckle. “I know. Actually it’s worse than real life. But I agree. He’s an idiot, I agree in that so much. Every sentiment being should know she’ll find out eventually.”

And from then on, they commented everything happening in the movie. Very much to the annoyance to the people around them, but they did neither care nor did they even see the glances that kept being thrown in their direction.

 

 

 

_Wednesday 5pm_

The day had almost rushed away. Once they were on their way up into the mountains and the ranger station they had been mostly quiet again. The breakfast – what had reminded more of a lunch than an actual breakfast – had been pleasant.

Right after they had landed they had been briefed on the newest results of the ongoing investigation for the murder case. Some irregularities on the background of the person that has been found there. Forged documents and the DNA not matching. Nothing that actually did affect their case for the moment, because the ties to Cerberus were still there no matter who the person was that had been found dead in the cabin.

They had discussed the case and what they had gathered so far, where Ella had found out why he had been as sleepy as she had: like her he had been awake all night to read the available files. The only thing that had been different was that Vega had also taken a look at previous leads and solved parts of this giant case. It was enough stuff to keep them talking without even getting close to any topic that was personal.

Ella didn’t know how long they would stay here and if Anderson would send anyone of the rest of the team once they had dealt with their tasks, or if they were on their own out here. It probably depended a lot on what they would find on their visit on the crime scene.

By the time they reached the ranger station in the center of an area with scattered cabins, they both were tired from the drive. No matter they had changed the wheel regularly – it still had been a difficult drive. She wasn’t used to mountain roads, at least not with a powerful SUV under her ass, where she could ignore roads and go for the muddy trail. And the car provided by the FBI was hardly fit for off-road adventures. But – she couldn’t stop thinking – they would have been a lot faster.

The young man in his ranger uniform who greeted them, offered them to show them their cabin fist, but Ella wanted to see the crime scene at first. She knew they wouldn’t find anything this evening, but she had come for this up here and not to roast marshmallows in front of their fireplace. It would give her a better idea of the scene and so, their first destination was the cabin where the body and the potential evidence for a Cerberus involvement had been found.

Ella hoped James was aware that she didn’t expect them to find an awful lot right now; they were tired it had been a damn long day. She knew that sometimes in a new team you got the feeling you have to prove yourself, and there were these situations, but this was none of them. All she wanted was to have seen in it real and have the feeling to have started. But from the look of his face, when they entered the cabin eventually he knew.

The ranger had told them on their way up the things they had read in the file, but it was good hearing him from someone who has actually been around.

The cabin had been rented for the last two years by the same guy who had spent most of his time there. He had no idea where the money for that came from, but the cabin had been paid every month perfectly in time. Ella and James exchanged a glance that told both of them were quite sure where the money came from, but neither of them said a word and let the ranger just keep talking. He told them Martin had been a kinda odd guy, but friendly when he was at the station. He usually came there every week asking for his mail and then leaving a big brown envelope which had been sent to a PO Box in California, before he drove down the hill to the store. When he hadn’t come the second week they had wondered. And in the third they had entered the cabin. Even the decay of the body couldn’t hide over the fact that something terrible had been done to this man, something that didn’t speak of mercy. And the blood splattered all over the cabin added to this impression.

Ella mostly just listened and nodded occasionally. She had seen the crime scene photos and knew that it hadn’t been pretty. But she needed to see the place itself and gather her own evidence. She would look for different things. She and her team weren’t interested in finding the murder - that was another investigation. Sure, sometimes these things went hand in hand, but she didn’t work towards it – unless it would lead her to the head of Cerberus.

As expected they didn’t find a lot this evening. But they got the desired impression – or so they thought at first. She saw it on Vega’s face that he was shocked about the cruelty with which the victim had been slaughtered. Just like her, he had seen some things in his career, but Ella knew there were some things you never would be untouched by. And blood splattered in patterns that told the story of slaughter was one of these things. But he was professional enough to put his personal feelings aside and start looking through the room just like Ella did. He was deeply concentrated as he took closer looks at drawers and shelves, as Ella could see. She also saw the slightly furrowed brows and the deepened crinkle between them. She couldn’t help but look at him whenever she turned around in the room.

It stopped when he left the room to extend his search, while Ella had started to go through the documents scattered all around in the room.

“Shepard, you should take a look at this,” he called her into the little bedroom. „Here, looks like something’s hidden behind this. I wonder how they have missed it.”

Ella nodded, when she entered the room. “Not everyone has the eyes of an eagle, James,” she grinned as she stepped closer to take a look at it for herself at the shelf covering a slim part of the wall. “Yeah, but you’re right. There is something behind the shelf. Seems we have found our first task for tomorrow – demontaging the cabin.”

His brows rose a bit – Ella wasn’t sure why, yet he seemed almost a bit surprised. “You wanna leave it like that?”

“Yah, I do. It’s been a long day, we are tired and are likely to destroy more evidence than we find right now. We come back in the morning after a few hours of sleep and a coffee.” She had what she wanted, and impression of what they had to deal with and her new team member had found the missed evidence. Maybe it was nothing, but maybe it was the big catch.

It was definitely one of the best starts she had seen of any of her team members.


	3. Teambuilding

Thursday 6am

Coffee now, shower later – after the run. She had learned that running in the mountains is far greater and more satisfying than any round she ever had in any city, no matter how neat or big the park was. So she hopped into a tank top and shorts and took her running shoes with her, when she left her room. To both of their pleasure the FBI had provided them with a two bedroom cabin, so they wouldn’t have to face the awkward situation to run into each other only half dressed or something like that.

Just that it didn’t help much. Because when she left her room she stopped and stared at the man sitting on the couch, doing his shoes, a steaming coffee on the table beside him. Ella would have turned back into her room, if not right in that moment his head moved up and he returned the stare.

She could basically feel his eyes and how they moved up her leg, following the black pattern of her tattoo. She saw how his gaze skipped the clothed parts of her body and jumped to her right arm, where the same pattern showed again. She knew how obvious it were that this weren’t two similar tattoos, but just a single one. She had seen that look before.

And in return her eyes moved to the ink on his arm and neck. She had seen the tip of it before, but had tried to ignore it. And then... well then there was the fact that he was not only well built but the impersonation of a fitness magazine poster boy – and she liked it. More than she would probably ever admit.

Finally she caught herself staring at him and cleared her throat awkwardly. “Good morning,” she said with a half-smile and went straight for the door. “See you after the run, I guess.” And then she was out of the door, without missing that he had stared at her either. And that he had only returned to the task of doing his shoelaces when she had started talking and moving.

She knew this was ridiculous, but she also knew that putting on her shoes outside and forget about the coffee was probably for the better now. This situation had been way too awkward for her taste. She was sure it didn’t mean a thing, but she had to ease this, before it would get any further. And leaving the room was one way to do it. When they were showered and properly dressed again they could get back to being normal.

When she returned an hour later he was sitting on the front porch of the cabin, still in his workout clothes, sweaty and grinning. “Tell me we won’t behave like this every morning.”

Ella chuckled and sat down beside him, yet far away enough they wouldn’t touch. “I hope so, that was… awkward. Like teenagers.”

He let out a small laugh. “Damn, yeah. Now… tell me, what else are you doing?”

“What? Sports? I run every morning.” She wasn’t quite sure where this was going.

“Nope, that’s not all.” He said completely confident. “I know when I see someone who’s truly trained.”

She sighed and took a swig from her water bottle she had left on the front porch. “Yeah okay, maybe I had a bit more of training. Kickboxing twice a week and climbing once or twice. Trekking when possible on my rare free weekends. Well, yeah I do other stuff than just running and catching bad guys. But it doesn’t seem like morning run is all you are doing either.” Her brows rose a little bit; like she wanted to tell him that it was now his turn.

“Kickboxing you say? Hm, makes me almost nosy how good you are.” He gave her a once over from the side and grinned.

“Wait, you want me to kick your ass? Fine, come raise your lazy ass and I’ll show you.” She was on her feet almost instantly. It never took a lot to challenge her. Especially when a man gave her the impression he thought he had an advantage over her. Proving them wrong was one of her specialties. Though bumping heads with him would be interesting.

So, she handed him his ass on a silver plate at 7am in the morning while the sun was shining and birds were singing in front of the cabin they would stay at for four more days. Because this would be the last day they’d see the sun.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thursday 8pm

Ella sat on the couch and went through the pictures one more time, which was by now probably the twentieth time she did that. Behind that shelf they had found a small room, once they had climbed down the ladder hidden in a niche of the wall. There had barely been enough space for both of them, well of course there had been but it had been tight and just imagining someone would lock them down there had made it hard to breathe for Ella.

The walls of the room had been covered with maps of the area; the main feature of the room was a desk with a lot of technical equipment on it, all of it connected to a computer with three screens. All of the screens were dark – probably since the power for the cabin had been cut. But then James had murmured something along the line ‘look at that’ and had turned on the light, along with the screens. The computer hadn’t booted but just been so quiet that they hadn’t realized it had been running all along. They looked at each other with raised eyebrows and started to search the room. They had found more maps and charts what have seemed to be satellite orbital movements, the times they were in range marked on the lists. She found more maps, making the satellites movements in them, along with some more marked locations, but this time it seemed like it were places something was placed or hidden.

There was more here, lists with chemicals. And more stuff. They would need another day to evaluate everything they had found and didn’t even touch the computer’s content. Though so far it didn’t provide them with too many answers but only more questions. What did they need these satellites for and what were these locations on the maps. When they had gotten back to their cabin they had sent what they had, the coordinates to the office, but Edi had been out so she wouldn’t be able to check everything until the morning. What in general had been fine, it just drove Ella insane to be so much in the dark about this. But their mission hadn’t been a very high priority so everyone would sit put until they called. And her team deserved to leave at least sometimes actually in time.

“Hey, you hungry?” James asked for already the second time his superior, without her even noticing the first time.

“I – uh no, not really,” she replied.

James’ eyebrows rose, clearly showing her that he didn’t believe a single word. He had noticed she hadn’t eaten since breakfast and had lived so far on coffee and her determination.

And apparently his gaze made her realize it herself. “Yeah, okay. Maybe. I’ll grab a sandwich, when I’m done here.”

A sigh left James’ lips and he shook his head. “Don’t get me wrong here, Shepard, but as I see it, you won’t be done until the pictures start to tell you what you wanna hear. And I doubt that’ll happen anytime soon. So, you keep starin’ at them for a little longer while I make us dinner and then you at least take a break, what d’ya think?” He smiled and Ella found herself as well lifting a corner of her mouth.

“Fine.”

The promised dinner actually was just a sandwich, but a good one. The rangers had stocked the cabin with the necessary things and had promised to be back tomorrow as long as they had decided how long they’d stay to bring the rest. Ella would tell them in the morning that they’d be here for at least another day, probably more. This seemed to be something much bigger as they had estimated before.

Apparently the rangers thought beer was one of these most necessary things, because one was suddenly floating in front of her eyes. “Come, you’re takin’ a break now.”

Ella looked from the bottle to the other agent and raised her eyebrows. “Vega, this is no vacation. We’re not here to have a nice beer on the front porch and watch the sun go down.”

“I’m not saying we will, but porch sounds good to me. Look, I watched you now all evenin’ starin’ at what we’ve found earlier and it hasn’t given you any answers to your questions. Let’s try somethin’ different here. I know I’m not the team you’re used to, but let’s give talkin’ it through like a team a try, okay?”

She looked at him for another moment, before she eventually nodded, took the beer he was offering her and got up from the couch, taking the tablet with her outside.

“’sides, there is no sun we could watch, it’s rainin’ and you should probably take a blanket with ya. You might get cold.”

She chuckled and shook her head, but grabbed for the blanket on the couch, before she followed him. “You almost seem concerned about my wellbeing, Vega.”

“I just wanna make sure I’m not sent back to L.A. for somethin’ like not havin’ your back, ma’am.”

Ella chuckled when she walked out of the door and sat down on one of the seats. It was chilly outside, light rain was falling, but they knew about the upcoming storm for the night. The clouds coming closer at the horizon confirmed that forecast.

“So, what’s it that keeps you starin’ at those images,” he asked as soon as both of them had sat down and he had taken a swig from his bottle and reached for his sandwich.

Ella was already chewing on her first bite. She took a deep breath after she had washed it down with a swig of her own beer. “I can’t even explain it. It’s just odd. What was he doing out here? These satellites were probably used for communication or area surveillance. But why? What is out here that something like this is necessary? I have never before heard of any activity out here. Not even places like this. I mean sure if you wanna hide activities it’s probably a great place. And with these satellites they would be able to communicate out here. No cellphone coverage, nothing that would lead anyone out here except they were exactly looking for them. But hidden well, it would be possible to be hidden for a very long time. Well until someone finds your little communication hub, I guess.”

James nodded. “So you think there’s more out here? The marked locations on the map?”

Ella nodded, and forgot all her manners when she started speaking with a half full mouth, making breaks to chew some more and swallow bits of her sandwich. “Yeah. No one would put so much effort into something to hide, well, _nothing_. We have to take a look at it. Better even send some teams out there who are more prepared for this that we are.” But she already knew that she wouldn’t be able to wait here for the teams, and when she turned her head to look at him she saw he knew as well, she wouldn’t just sit here idle, while someone would have the opportunity to destroy evidence. She tilted her head slightly. “Those locations are hard to reach…. You’ve ever been climbing?”

Her question was almost careful. She knew he was well trained and in more than a good shape, though knowing at least the basics with the equipment they would have to use was something different, she could of course explain it to him, but nevertheless, had he never done this before it would slow them down and considering they didn’t have a lot of daylight in this weather and in the mountain themselves it would make this almost impossible to achieve. Even Ella wasn’t reckless enough to climb out there in a damn storm if it wouldn’t be absolutely necessary, even less with a complete beginner.

But all he did was chuckling. “Yeah, I have, actually. That’s a while ago, has been a more or less regular thing back then, so I think I can manage. Do you think you can act as a guide?”

Ella looked at him questioningly. “Regular thing?”

“Was part of the job,” was all he said for now.

Now her expression turned into surprise, but she didn’t say anything but answered his previous question. “Yah, I have done that before, being a guide. Kinda. Something very close.”

And then in her head started to form a plan. They talked about it and agreed to leave in the morning as soon as possible, without waiting for the call from the office or talking to the rangers, just concentrating on their task at hand. The more evidence they had when they talked to Anderson, the better. And that would also lead to having a better idea about how long they’d need the cabin.

Eventually it got too cold and stormy out here so they decided to go inside, when their conversation about the case and its connections died anyway. They had a long and hard day ahead of them so going to bed early was probably not a bad idea.

Before each of them went into their respective bedroom they looked at each other for an awkwardly long moment. Until they eventually said ‘good night’.


	4. A Trip and Similatrities

Friday 7 am

When she had gotten up she still had heard the rain falling outside. The forecasted storm for last night had been heavy and had kept her awake for some hours. So she hadn’t been exactly fresh when she had left her room. Looking at James who was already making coffee, he seemed to have the same short night as her.

She reckoned like her he wasn’t a person who would wake easily just by some storm, but being in the mountains in a small cabin and not in your own apartment safe in the city – there was a huge difference.

Now they were standing on the porch, equipment packed up and drinking the last rest of their coffee, before they would leave. The weatherman on the radio was telling them that the rain and strong wind would only be the beginning and for a moment Ella wondered if staying in the cabin wouldn’t be the better idea. Because of the weather they had skipped the jogging this morning and decided the condition the track would be in would be enough workout and exhaust them enough for one day. Spending more energy was reckless and stupid. But this was even worse than it had been an hour ago, when they had made the decision. When she looked at him, she saw him thinking the same thing, his eyes trained on the sky, before he noticed her looking at him and started to grin.

“Getting cold feet?”

A wry grin on her face, she raised her eyebrows. “They’re not even wet – so, no, not cold yet. Though ask me in an hour again, when we’re out there. Hope you’re not made of sugar, Vega, would be a shame to watch you melting.”

“Last time I checked I wasn’t the wicked witch of the west, so a bit of water shouldn’t be much of a problem. You on the other hand…”

She laughed and pretended to be offended. “What? You compare me to her?”

He smiled. “That I do. She stood up for what she thought was right, no matter the obstacles and who was against her. She risked everythin’ to save those she thought worth saving, no matter what it meant for her in the end, or better knowing exactly what it meant for her. Just stubbornly going her way.”

Ella didn’t know what to respond, so she was quiet for a moment. “What does that make of you?”

He looked at her, amusement in his eyes. “I’m probably that scarecrow kind of guy, well before he became the scarecrow.”

She chuckled. “So big attitude but big heart, huh?”

He chimed in in her chuckling. “Yeah, something like that. But,” he said changing the topic back to something else." About your cold feet – word is I give a mean foot massage to get them warm again…”

They continued a little bit with fooling around on this, until they had finished their coffee and geared up. Their playful tone was still there, though they were focused again on the task and made sure everything was with them when they eventually left.

It took them half the day to reach their first destination. With the weather getting worse by the hour, they wouldn’t have much time to explore the cave that turned out to be in the place marked on the map, before the daylight would fade. The way back would be hard enough if things continued like this. Ella assumed it would take them even longer than getting here, even more so in the darkness. Gladly James had turned out to be good with the rope and also the way up the mountain didn’t seem to affect him too much, the additional weight and changed balance of the back pack as well. It made Ella wonder where he had gathered an experience like this.

When they had picked the lock on the gate on the entrance to the cave they found it stuffed with wooden crates and behind some kind of plastic curtain that was sealed with a zipper they found some electronic devices. The curtain had kept out the very most of the moisture so they were in a very good shape and fully functional. From what Ella could tell on first glance this was equipment to improve signals. She had seen them in Afghanistan in their base. This was what actually send the signal to the satellite that was targeted by the system further down the mountain from the cabin. Ella didn’t know the specifics of these things and someone with more, or better any expertise should take a look at this.

Still looking around she let out a small hum. “We need to get a team up here ASAP. This is just an outpost to keep up the communication for something much bigger in this area, possibly further up or even in the mountain. According to the maps there are some more caves leading to an old abandoned mine,” she mumbled while taking a few steps further into the cave. “It’s been closed for more than 40 years, so a perfect hiding spot for. Something.”

She didn’t see his face, but when he spoke up his voice was somewhat concerned and she heard he was not looking at her, but back to exit. “Shepard, I don’t really think we are getting anywhere today except back to the cabin.”

Ella turned around, lowering the flashlight and with a frown on her face. “You really think I’m gonna leave now?” She looked past him and saw that it had already gotten darker than before. A look to her watch told her they had been here for half an hour. She bit on the inside of her mouth and sighed.

She knew he was right but this was finally something of importance, something that could get them really close to her goal. She couldn’t leave now.

“The storms getting worse and I am damn sure the way back will cost us the last bit of daylight this day will have. So unless you wanna camp out here… we should leave – ASAP.” He was serious about this. She could see and hear the rain outside through the clear plastic curtain. Speaking of day light at all was some kind of weird joke. It had never been actually _light_ today. The dark clouds gave the sun behind them barely a chance to light up the day.

For a moment she considered what he had said, but then sighed again. “We’re not equipped for staying here, and a land slide could bury us here alive. And I don’t need that a second time,” she muttered almost under her breath. She wasn’t telling him anything he didn’t know. But saying it herself would make that part of her that wanted to ignore the danger in favor of some more information shut up. Getting back in one piece would be a hell of a task at the rate the conditions outside changed or better got worse.

“Okay,” she sighed. “Fine, just ten more minutes, let me check where these cables are leading to, then we’ll grab what we can and what would be some help and get the hell out of here.”

James nodded though it was obvious on his face that he thought every more minute spend out here was a damn risk – and he was completely right. But he also seemed to realize that making her leave before she had what she needed and wanted was an equally impossible task.

So while she walked further into the cave he grabbed what he thought was important and could give them a lead and took pictures of the equipment in here to send them back to the office once they were back at their cabin.

Ella didn’t have to walk far until she met the end of the accessible cave. It continued in a smaller tunnel leading straight downwards covered by a gutter in which the cables vanished into the darkness.

“It leads further down into the mountain. They are somewhere in the caves. Seems to be an old airshaft of the mine,” she said when she returned. “There’s no way to access it from here. So it’s one of the other caves or even the main entrance to the cave.”

“Shepard?”

She looked at him, like he woke her from some deep thoughts and not telling him what she had found. “Hm?”

“Not today. Don’t even think about it.”

She smiled briefly and nodded. “Yeah, I know.”

“Good, let’s get out of here – I got the rest covered, while you were out on your little stroll.” He nodded towards the entrance and Ella nodded again, taking a last look over the cave. She wasn’t happy to leave, but he was right, it was for the better unless they wanted to spend the night out here.

Outside they had to face the fact that it was already almost dark. Of course it had taken longer than half an hour and of course the storm had gotten stronger during that time. Almost black clouds were moving fast above them and a strong wind bent the crowns of the trees.

It would be hell of a decent.

 

 

 

 

Saturday, Noon

It had been coming down in torrents for the last 24 hours and the rangers had already told them that there was no way going up or down the mountain without risking their lives. There had been some smaller landslides and trees were blocking the trails and roads down into the town. The road was not passageable until those trees were moved from the road what wouldn’t happen until the weather got a bit better.

And moving up the hill was not just impossible; it was a way to express a death wish. So they were stuck at the cabin for the time being, what made the limited space even appear a bit smaller.

Ella had tried to get the pictures to the office but the storm was blocking their signal so there was no news on this front. And to her displeased surprise their satellite telephone was damaged. She had thought Tali had told her she had checked it just last week, but apparently it still was broken. So they would have to wait for the storm to decrease and then inform Anderson and Garrus, who was in charge in her absence.

From a short talk with the ranger, Hastrom, who had lead them up here, they knew that he had been here earlier, but had been surprised they had left in this weather. From him they knew that the mine had led to some natural caves inside the mountain, some of them big enough to host the Vienna Opera Ball – a resemblance that had made James frown and Ella explain it to him later.

In any way this meant it could be a perfect hiding spot for something big. Ella had no idea what they would hide up here, with limited access and communication. Yes with their connection to a satellite they were safe, but only as long they were in reach and someone was contacting it. The times between they were cut off from all civilization. Except the visitors center and the ranger station, of course.

But whatever they hid there, Ella wouldn’t find out until the rain had stopped and the danger of landslides had faded.

They had been quiet till they had gotten up. They had discussed their finding and the meaning of it, but the two USB sticks James had found in the cave hadn’t given much more info than the satellite lists they already knew.  So they had spent most morning with gathering their clothes from the furniture where they had placed them last night when they had gotten back to dry.

Until James now spoke up, while making a sandwich for himself. “So, how did you end up here, with the FBI?”

Ella looked up from her e-reader and raised her eyebrows. “I…” she hesitated, but then sighed. “I’m a Marine. Counter Intelligence, Recon, stuff like that. Made me a preferred candidate. I’m still a reserve, though due to an old injury not on active duty anymore. Though they are still able to call me back in. But, once I left I found out that sitting around wasn’t my thing, as you may have noticed.”

“No kiddin’, huh? On both actually. I can see very well that sittin’ around isn’t your thing. You haven’t actually read more than three pages in the last hour, because you can’t concentrate enough.” He was right and it astounded Ella. She didn’t know how he had noticed, but the fact to be locked in this cabin while she had more important things to do was driving her insane. James picked up the plate with the finished sandwich and walked over to the couch taking a seat on the other couch. “A Marine,” he sighed before he took the first bite from his sandwich and left Ella in the hang for a moment. “Can’t say I’m surprised. To be honest I can imagine you in camouflage quite well.”

She chuckled and placed the e-reader on her thighs. “Is that supposed to be a compliment? Because... well it’s not a good one. But what about you?”

He tilted his head slightly and grinned. “You might laugh on this one. Straight from Oceanside, California.”

Her eyes widened a bit. “Pendleton?”

The Marine in front of her nodded once. “Yes, ma’am.”

And Ella actually started to laugh. So did he, when she got up from her couch and quickly stole the other half of his sandwich that had still been on the plate. “And what made you leave the Corps?”

Vega shook his head and chuckled for a moment until her question hit the air. That made his face turn very serious. “Some incident in Afghanistan. It took out my CO and after I took lead instead and made a decision… well let’s just say it didn’t work the way I had hoped. So I took my leave after a totally unnecessary promotion. You’ve heard of Project Collectors.”

Ella nearly dropped the sandwich. How did he know……? “That’s a classified mission.”

“Yeah, mostly. But you hadn’t been the only one knowin’ about it, even when the Pentagon had tried to play it down. SECNAV had stationed us in this little town to keep the civilians safe.”

Ella nodded. “Yeah, I know presence had been increased – drastically and secretly. But I had no idea the troops actually knew the actual reason.”

“We didn’t,” he replied quietly. “Until it was too late and they were on our doorstep.”

She looked at him for a moment. “Would you mind telling me what happened?” She was curious now. This sounded like hell of a terrible story.

James sighed, but didn’t look at her; his eyes were trained on the sandwich in his hand. “I made a bad call, Shepard. I went after intel I thought would save the next town if now this one.” Now he looked up again and their eyes met. “But it proved to be unnecessary. You already got all the information the Pentagon needed to plow that place to hell.”

Ella took a deep breath and nodded again. She realized that he probably had sacrificed the civilians for this intel, and something about the way he was talking told her that his team had taken some heavy losses as well. She could understand it. Had she been in his situation it would have felt like a failure to her, what the way he non-verbally told her he would prefer not to continue on this topic, confirmed it.

So in response her eyes told him that she would respect that, but also that he still had made the right call. Or at least what she would have done as well. That was just how war worked. You can’t save them all.

The remaining afternoon was filled with light chatter about their training, the deployments and comrades. Ella tried to talk as little about Derek as possible. She mentioned his name, but tried to hide their personal relationship. This time it was Vega’s gaze that told her, he wouldn’t ask about it, but saw through her attempt to hide it. That he understood and respected her wish not to talk about Derek.


	5. Bonding Moments And Rules

_Sunday, 2 am_

The wind was howling outside and the two of them sat in the dark cabin, lit only by some candles they had found when the light had gone out. They had been awake anyway because a branch had fallen into the window of Ella’s room and woken both of them up. And then an hour ago the lights had gone out. Hastrom, the Ranger who had showed them around had showed up twenty minutes ago to tell them about a tree that had fallen on a land line and broken most electricity up here. Just some emergency generators were running in the visitor’s center. He invited them to come over, but they gave their thanks and preferred to stay here. For some reason in irked Ella the wrong way to follow his suggestion. She didn’t know if it was about him personally or all of their equipment and the evidence that was still in their cabin. After the satellite phone had broken so mysteriously she wasn’t sure the evidence was still safe here without them being present and a dark night and all footsteps outside washed away by the storm… it would be a perfect moment to destroy anything they had so far, or at least get a heads up how close they were.

After another day of rain and no possibility to go back into the mountains they had called the office from the satellite phone in the ranger station for an advice and Anderson had decided that they would be exfiltrated for now, with the most important evidence by a jumper and then would come back with the rest of the team.

But said exfil had to be delayed because with wind strengths of 50mph it wouldn’t have been safe for the helicopter to land, so they postponed it for the next day.

This meant for the two of them that they were stuck here for another night in the dark and this somehow ironic situation. They were two seasoned Marines and FBI Agents, they shouldn’t sit here in the dark all quiet wrapped in blankets and silent. So very silent. At least the fact that they were so comfortable around each other didn’t make this anymore awkward. Being silent was fine for the most part. It just gave Ella time to think about things that should be left buried in the back of her mind.

Ella saw his head turning now and then from the corner of her mind, when he was looking at her for long moments, before he turned around again to look out of the window. Ella almost expected him to say something, but he didn’t – until she had enough of it and just wanted to know what was up with him.

“What’s on your mind, Vega? You look like you die if you don’t ask anytime soon.”

He grinned and shook his head a moment later with a chuckle. “I’m just wonderin’. That look on your face, like there’s somethin’ keepin’ you busy. I’m wonderin’ what it is, in a night like this one.”

Ella smiled briefly. Sometimes he was more attentive than he should. Ella hadn’t intended to let him notice it. But now that she had encouraged him to ask, she also would have to give him an answer to his question.

“It reminds me of my childhood,” she started quietly. “I didn’t grow up in an exactly rich environment. So it happened that we couldn’t pay the bill in time and we sat in the dark, especially in nights like this, since with storms and bad weather, my mom had fewer customers.” She wouldn’t give him any more details about her mother’s job at night. She wasn’t ashamed of her mother, because Ella knew she had just done what she had to do to keep her family alive and take care of her daughter, but it was also nothing she would talk about in detail and freely. “So we just sat there, mostly my mom and me in candle light while she would read me a story or something.” A small chuckle left her and her gaze dropped to her knees for a moment. “I was terrified by storms in the night.” She sighed and still didn’t take up the eye contact again. “When she… had left I was mostly on my own. My father didn’t care or wasn’t around much. So I gathered all the candles in my room and lit them there. I didn’t dare to leave one of them anywhere in the rest of the apartment, in case my father would come back and be...” she stopped and closed her eyes for a moment. She hadn’t planned to tell that much. Offer him all of her sad childhood stories and how fucked up she actually was. She never made a big deal about what had happened back then, had learned to deal and live with it. She had accepted who she was and had worked so hard to make things better for herself. She had started a new life and had left all the abuse and sadness behind her, yet… talking about it brought the emotions she had felt back then back. The fear and hurt. It was still there and nights like this one brought them to the surface all too easily.

Apparently he saw what was happening to her and he nodded. “Yeah I know what you mean,” he started before she could say anything more. “No things that could break easily in the way he usually sleeps it off. Nothin’ that could be dangerous or that he could use to… well there’s only so many excuses you can find in a short amount of time to cover it.”

Now Ella looked back at him. For a moment that was all they did – look at each other. It was one of these moments where two people just understood the other one. One of these moments where each of them had their own memories on their mind, yet so similar to each other’s that it brought them closer together. Ella thought it was called a bonding moment and until now she had never experienced one as strong as this one. He didn’t just give her something he had heard of or read about – he spoke of experience. He had been there and like her he had worked hard to put it behind him. Neither of them needed anyone to heal them, but these wounds inflicted to them by people who had been the ones who should have taken care of them still weren’t healed completely and probably never would. But it was okay, both of them had learned to live with it.

They could have been quiet now. Could have stopped talking altogether or change the topic entirely – yet they didn’t. Somehow they started talking about the things they did in moments like these when they were kids. The strategies they had to keep the shadows at bay and fight what was frightening them.

It made them smile now and then brought them even closer together as persons, while each of them stayed on their own couch. It kept the memories and emotions this night had brought closer to the surface away.

They were both fighters, survivors of something you don’t wish on anybody. Ella hadn’t experienced something like this before and had never seen anyone else so relieved as she felt, when they realized they didn’t need the candles anymore, that they once again had made it through a night.

That smile he gave her showed he probably felt the same way. It was awkward, but not in a rally bad way. She was glad he had been there and she was glad they did have this moment. And probably as well, when she realized that they wouldn’t talk about this again. At least not anytime soon.

 

 

_Sunday, later_

After they’ve been picked up later on Sunday morning, both Ella and James didn’t spend a single thought about returning home and catch up on some sleep, but headed straight for the office. On their way they called the rest of the team.

In these years Ella worked with these people, she never had heard a no from them. It sometimes felt like they were just waiting for her to call them in and start working whenever there was a new lead. She knew all of them had social and private lives, but like her all of them were willing to abandon them for this. They were as dedicated to their job as Ella was and James apparently fit into that profile as well.

When they arrived with breakfast and coffee the first thing he did was grabbing a fresh t-shirt from a drawer of his desk and changed into it right where he stood. Ella sometimes wondered if he actually was aware of the way he looked or if he just liked to put on a show. Maybe a bit of both. Which wasn’t what she cared about right now when she caught herself staring at him for a blink of an eye until she heard Liara whisper over Ella’s shoulder.

“That’s a view I could get used to when I enter the office. You never told me what you are doing up here when I’m down in the lab.” The young scientist smirked when Ella turned around to her and shrugged innocently.

Ella mirrored the expression and shook her head. “Good morning to you too.” She heard a chuckle form James. The thing about this was that every one of them had change clothes in the office, just in case it was an all-nighter they had to do or something else made them change into different clothes. Going home t change would keep them from work for longer. Apparently something James had learned as well, or had made the active decision at some point that he didn’t want to stop working for longer than necessary in important moments.

All Ella now wondered when he had done this? She could barely believe that he was so prepared for anything that he had placed it there on his first day. But the fact it was here, told her that he either had brought it then or had come here before they had met at the airport in Wednesday.

One ofter another the team arrived and set up their work spaces. Informtaions changed hands so everyone could start calling u information that would help the briefing and turn it into a brainstorming what would let them come to some kind of conclusion at the end and give hints of the direction their investigation would take in the following time.

The briefing alone did take them half of the day. They wrote down a lot of questions they asked during it and what gave everyone a task to work on for the afternoon.

Liara and Tali were busy entering the bits and pieces of coordinates and chemicals they had found and out absolutely everything and each detail into the database they had for this case. From the early beginning of this taskforce they had this database and not only once it had helped them to make connections where even the more analytical minds of theirs failed to see it.

They also could give them a range for the transmitters Ella and James had taken pictures of to give them hints in what radius they had to look for more locations like this. What was the part Ella Garrus and newly to them James worked on. They tried to find tactical clever locations inside the given radius.

Ella wasn’t very surprised at this point that James fit in perfectly in Garrus’ and her habit of just thinking loud. Half of their time they blurted out loud their thoughts while one of the others just picked up that thought and with added to it or pushed it in a different direction with an objection.  It worked well. Like Tali and Liara had learned to work perfectly together in mostly silence the three of them seemed sometimes to talk at the same time. Mostly calm, finishing each other sentences and in the end finding some potential warehouses and abandoned facilities.

Anderson joined them for more intel than they could give him on the phony by Sunday noon and started to make the necessary phone calls for the upcoming field operation. When he picked up the phone to call the ranger station she shook he head. “No, they don’t need to know.”

Anderson raised his eyebrows. “You don’t trust them?”

“I don’t know. It’s like an itch. There’s something, but I can’t just put it together yet. Just, let them I the dark for now.  They’ll catch up soon enough.”

And the director accepted her gut feeling about this. More than once it had proven to be right.

They had sent the team home after everything had been set up for the next day. Ella would have loved to go right now, but she knew all too well that some daylight up there in the mountains would be the best. They would meet later in the night to cross once again half of the country and infiltrate whatever this was Cerberus had set up there. It would be a full tactical field team with the whole team, a strike unit and the crime scene investigator team for any hard evidence they might find there.

Edi took care of the logistics and made contact with the bureau in Colorado.

It was almost dark when only Ella and Garrus left the office together.

He fits in well,” he said with a grin.

“Vega? Yeah, he does.” Ella nodded and grinned at her coworker and friend.

“And you two?”

“What’s with us two?” She had an idea where this was supposed to be going, but he should know better, so Ella wanted to give him the chance to show her he actually knew her better than that.

“You get along pretty well – not only on a work based level, I mean.”

Ella sighed and canted her head a bit in a crooked nod. “I know. We… have some things in common, that’s right. And he’s a nice guy. But… you know what I’m telling you next, right?”

The man beside her chuckled lightly. “Yes, I know. And you should know that it wasn’t my intention to imply anything. It’s just obvious that you two connected really well and… fast. I’m a bit surprised.”

She sighed again. “I know. But I think that’s just the aftermath of being in that cabin for a few days. The situation was strangely tense with the storm and everything. It’ll calm down again once we’re settled back into civilization,” she said, with something like a grin lifting one corner of her mouth.

But Garrus just raised one eyebrow. “While seeing each other every day at work, on a team close as this one, Ella?”

A shrug lifted her shoulders. “We have to. There’s no way this can get any further than this. No matter what. There are rules and the job comes first.”


	6. The Doc Is Out

All of the arrangements made on a Sunday afternoon were kept. Everyone was exactly where they had to be. What meant Tali and Liara would be with the crime investigation team, making sure some evidence could already be identified on the crime scene.

Edi was at her desk ready to check ever tiny piece of information they would need. Joker was in the helicopter, in case they would have to leave quickly.

Though their travel down here had been on one of the more luxury and bigger planes of the secretary of defense where they would be able to brief the local team leaders during the flight, it had been in a hurry and been exhausting.

Udina hadn’t been exactly pleased that they would use this plane, but he should have known that his voce wouldn’t carry so much weight against the evidence Anderson and Shepard could present to the Secretary. His face though told Ella that he would let them feel it as soon as he got the chance. Even if he was just an advisor, he knew his ways to be a pain in Ella’s ass.

Garrus and James had suggested that Ella should use the flight for a nap, but she refused, because bringing everyone up to speed was more important. Even if there hadn’t been any notice of movement in the area since the storm had settled down, Cerberus had so far always been good for some nasty surprises. So some kind of opposition was to be expected inside of the caves.

Both Garrus and James didn’t seem too pleased about this but knew there was probably nothing they could do, except mixing something in her coffee, but both of them weren’t so keep on risking their lives just to make her take a break.

The three of them would be part of the strike team entering the mine. All three of them had experience in situations like these, might it be military or police SWAT, in any way they knew the behavior, the protocol and sign language. And in case a later investigation wouldn’t be possible they would have taken a look at whatever might be down there.

Edi had found out that several tunnels of the min had collapse over the last decades, what made this undertaking actually a bit more dangerous.

So, Ella eventually followed the FBI SWAT leader in silence. All of them were close together and it felt for her like she could feel James’ breath on the back of her neck. Though she was glad that it was him so close behind her and not one of the strangers from the Denver team.

They had turned off the lights on their rifles and moved in the light of the emergency lights that were placed on the walls in regular intervals. It was a contrast to the entrance area they had passed behind the elevator down here. It had been pitch dark until they had passed a metal wall, through a door that the Denver team had hacked open in no time. They had decided against any kind of explosion in case there would be opposition.

The fact that the elevator had been operational had been a contradiction to everything they had heard about this place from official sides. No power, no air conditioning, no lights and danger of collapsing… but when they had passed the doorway they had found a solid concrete tunnel leading further into the mountain in a mild slope. Nothing brittle about it.

Ella didn’t know how deep they were under the earth and decided that she rather didn’t wanna know.

They passed doors, which stood wide open, every room clear of any sign of life. At first they only found some kind of storage rooms, filled with crates, some of them opened in a seemingly hurry, others untouched and stacked neatly. Ella guessed once these had been rooms the miners had taken their breaks in, but now that no miners were down here, Cerberus had alienated their purpose.

Some of the crates were marked as fragile and in one room they even found containers with toxic and flammable warnings.

A glance to James, who was now beside her, covering her right side, showed her that he as well was wondering about the meaning of their findings so far.

There was only a few kind of places Ella would know of which needed this mix of items. And considering they dealt with Cerberus here, as hard as it was to believe they actually had managed to hide a damn laboratory down here, nothing was off limits with them.

But after the passed another wall made of metal with another door that formerly had been sealed by a number code, but now stood wide open, she had to believe it, because now they found behind each door small labs. There wasn’t enough space for more than two people working in these labs, but counting all of them it still meant there had been working a bunch of people down here. Securing some of them she could see that they had been abandoned mid-work. She knew many people working in labs were pedantic about their labs and leaving everything out in the open they had been using was something you might find in one out of five labs but not in all of them.

_They have left in a hurry. We either find nothing because they have wiped this place clean of any useful data or they have left everything and just secured the security copies._ She wondered what would be the case once Liara and Tali had the chance to dig in this place’s database.

Something else that came to her mind was the question how they could have left in time. There had been no warning. They had told no one of this place and not even the media had found out anything about their presence here. But for the moment she couldn’t find an answer and something that was keeping her thoughts busy even more was the question how they’d left in the first place. They could barely have left the way Ella and the team just got in. It had been under surveillance since she had been in the jumper on Saturday. It had been her very first action to make sure of it.

As they proceeded further into one wing of the facility they had to stop at a door that announced a ‘danger zone’ behind it. They would need a specialized team to go inside there, but only after they had at least some idea of what would be behind it.

Their movement through the facility wasn’t fast, so altogether it took them good two hours of slow and careful movement until they reached the garage of this place that led into a long tunnel. This was probably the way they had escaped. Ella was sure of it and started to wonder how they had managed in time and where this tunnel would lead to. They had set up generous surveillance parameters so either this tunnel was very long or the exit was very well hidden and Cerberus had been better in hiding their escape than they had anticipated. A mistake she wouldn’t make again.

What was sure at this point was that no personnel had been left here and once again Ella wondered who tipped them off. She knew Cerberus had spies in all positions and places but this place was huge. There was no way they could have left it in the time they had needed to enter it. She was absolutely sure they would have needed a few hours. And that tunnel couldn’t be long enough to escape their surveillance. It wasn’t so hard to suspect one of the Rangers. They had been the people who knew they had been here at all.

So she left the facility as soon as possible and approached Anderson with her theory. There had been only one person who had known they were here, just that one Ranger they had talked to and who had been there around them. And even more. He was the one who could have entered their cabin to manipulate their satellite phone and find their gathered intel. This meant he had known days ago that it was only a matter of time until they’d find the facility.

Sure, all of this was guesses, but Anderson knew her good enough to know that her guesses sometimes saved the day, so she got confirmation to grab Vega and pay that man’s apartment a visit. She hadn’t even reached the car when her mobile rang and one of the Agents from the local office told her that they had found out who the dead man in the cabin had been.

She made a surprised face when she hung up.

“Who was it?”

“Agent Tillman. He’s the leading investigator in the murder case.”

“Yeah, I remember his name. So, why’d he call?”

“You remember Hastrom telling us his co-worker was on a vacation through Alaska and Canada? Turns out he never managed to even leave work for his vacation and the vacation was longer than expected – like forever.”

“He’s the dead guy?”

Ella nodded. “A friend of his announced him missing when she found his packed luggage at his apartment when she was checking on his mail.”

Vega raised his eyebrows. “A Cerberus affiliate turns out to be a murder, huh?”

“I guess, though I have no idea why he did it yet. Why kill the man?”

“He probably found out about his actual employer?”

“Possible, but why kill him in the cabin of someone else? And what happened to the man who lived there in the first place?”

“Maybe there has never been another man living there.”

Ella shook her head. “No. I don’t think it would have been possible to fake this for such a long time. There must have been someone at some point. Hastrom wasn’t the only person working here and he had off hours. So there must have been others who had seen the man. So someone had been living up there to keep the illusion of the hermit intact. After a while people would believe he just got stranger and stranger over time, spending all of his time alone out there…”

Vega nodded when he got into the passenger seat of the car. “Yeah, okay, I got it.So this is just another mystery to be solved we can add to the list.”

Ela chuckled. “Yeah, it is. But I’m positive that we will find out. It’s a small thing compared to our main goal.”

“True enough.”

When they arrived at the apartment a bunch of police cars and a CSI van were parking in front of the apartment building.

“Looks like we are not the only ones who have some interest in the guy.”

“Yeah, but it seems we’re too late for the interrogation.”

James just snorted and nodded before he followed Ella out of the car. It was a decent neighborhood with well cared apartment buildings and some parks they had seen on their way here. They crossed the street and approached the police line. An officer stopped them, but let them through after he’d seen their badges and informed the leading detective of their presence.


	7. Chapter 7

The leading detective awaited them at the door to the apartment with raised eyebrows. “Detective Bajric,” she introduced herself with a nod.

Ella nodded back. “Agents Shepard and Vega. We are here for the owner of the apartment, but it seems we’re a little late. What happened?” Ella didn’t wait or hesitate. The detective was a tiny woman with a pretty, but stern face; she seemed like the person who didn’t want to waste time.

“Yah, two days late, too be exact. Martin Hastrom was killed two days ago. Shot to the back of his head.”

Ella nodded. “Sounds like an execution.”

But Bajric shook her head. “No, wouldn’t say that, from the angle it more seems that Hastrom called the wrong person a friend and turned his back on them. But what brings the FBI here, if I may ask. I know I’m probably not cleared for details, but…”

“Actually he is part of two FBI investigations. A murder case in the mountains and something bigger, organized crime, but classified.” Ella didn’t let her wait and gave her what she could. “We need to take a look at the crime scene,” she continued with a nod directed at the apartment behind Bajric. Ella knew how hard it was to give up a case or even let others enter a scene. She had experienced it and she could see the fear that this case would be taken away from the detective on her face. Especially as a woman they had to face it a lot.

But only a moment later Bajric nodded and stepped aside. ”Follow me,” she offered. “We found him after he was announced missing when he hadn’t shown up to work.”

“So quickly?”

Bajric knew exactly what Ella meant. “Yeah. His brother is one of us.”

“Oh.” Ella understood. When you have a relative with the cops you get a different treatment than other people - people like her mother. She felt the old anger swelling up. A few years back she would have made a scene of this but today she only swallowed it. This detective had nothing to do with her mother’s case twenty years ago. Bajric had been a girl herself back then. And Ella knew well enough that there were good and bad cops, those who act responsible and those who don’t care about what were lesser being in their eyes. As a prostitute her mother had been one of them.

They walked through the neat apartment. There were no signs of a struggle. The crime scene itself was the kitchen. Apparently Hastrom had been making coffee, because there were two mugs on the counter and the coffee powder still open on the counter as well, now contaminated with blood, or mostly blood.

“Any hints yet about the killer?”

Bajric sighed and looked at Ella with that face Ella knew so well. “Okay, yeah. You can’t and you won’t just out of the blue. And to be honest I wouldn’t as well, if I were you.”

“It’s nothing personal, it’s just…”

“Oh I completely understand,” Ella interrupted her with a smile. “Women loose too many cases to assholes who think them incapable to solve it, that we should share them with others. You want and need the credit for your career, and I assure you I don’t want this case, I just want your information on it. Especially this man and the murder when you find him. I am after the people behind them.”

“So, you gonna call your boss?”

“Yeah I will, but I will make a very specific deal: you keep the case, we have the opportunity to look around and take a look at your files and evidence. In exchange I will give all evidence that came from your case the deserved credit, what means you and your team in particular. I can’t let you take a look at our files, because the security level is too high, but I will be able to hand those things over that might be of help to you.” She saw on the woman’s face nothing but surprise. Ella knew that Bajric was the big winner in this deal and Ella didn’t care. She didn’t know the detective, but she needed this evidence and in her experience it was better information she got if it was given on friendly terms. “And I will make sure it will only be given to you, personally. Though, I wanna be honest with you, I won’t be the last Agent you’ll see today. A murder case up in the mountains has led to this man. But I think it might be possible to force them to work with you but not take this case from you. At least I can make sure you will still be working on the case by noon. Just give me a few minutes with my boss on the phone.”

Bajric still astounded by the offer given to her just nodded.

The conversation with Anderson didn’t take too long. Whenever she said she had the feeling it was worth it, it usually was, so he agreed. He would now make the necessary phone calls and while they waited for the affirmation from the police department they agreed that it would be okay if Ella and James took a look at the apartment without asking questions or touching anything. All possible evidence would stay exactly where it was. If Ella did one thing, it was honoring a deal she had made.

When the detective left the room to take the incoming call from her superior, James came a bit closer to Ella. “You’re pretty generous.”

“I do what I have to. We don’t lose in this, both sides win. If I had made a different deal she would have done what she’s told, or ordered to do, but nothing more. Out of understandable reasons. Now we have a deal both of us profit of. That has much more value, because thoughts are gonna be exchanged and the thoughts of an outside mind is sometimes worth a mint.”

He chuckled. “That’s also pretty clever.”

“No, just experience. I know what it feels like. Back in the marines I lost a few assignments just because I was a woman and was damned to watched those idiots fail and being called in back again to clear up their bullshit – or even worse to let them get the credit for me doing most of the work.. I don’t want to force other to stand on the side lines just because I am the one in a more powerful position. And besides we have enough on our hands without a murder case.”

“Seems like you have been though some serious bullshit.”

“You have no idea, Vega. But yeah, it taught me the lesson to play fair, if possible.”

He nodded a smile on his lips. “That’s a good thing, Shepard.”

She gave him a wry grin. “I know.”

So, things worked out the way Ella had wanted them to and when she and James were back in the car they had a bit more information on the case they could add to their database in the office.

While on their drive back to their own scene she called Edi. “Hey, do you think it’s possible to organize some camera footage of the area around the ranger station that is two years old?”

“That might be difficult,” their computer wonder said. “Normally files are deleted after a few months, or even less. But I will see what I can do. Anything I should look for in particular?”

“A man,” Ella said. “He probably talked mostly to Hastrom and should be a loner. Someone who doesn’t show up with others, but regular, I think Hastrom mentioned that he came weekly to check for mail and send some on his own.”

“Understood, I will let you know as soon as I got something. Anything else you need?”

“I need a complete background of Hastrom.”

“You’ll have it shortly.”

“Thanks, Edi.”

They drove for a moment in silence. “What do your guts tell you?”

He pondered for a moment with a sigh. “Well, first of all I’m still not convinced there actually was another man in that cabin. But let’s assume you’re right. There was a man. I don’t think Hastrom killed him. I think he killed his coworker, because he caught Hastrom in the cabin and Hastrom couldn’t afford the witness of him leaving a cabin that was rented by someone. Especially someone so suspicious who barely talked to anyone.”

She nodded. “Yeah I agree so far.”

“I think the other man is dead, but he died more of an accident, maybe some health issues. Being the only person on this job, he probably couldn’t get to a doc regularly for heart condition or something like that. So whatever happened up there… like something serious? He probably died.”

Ella gave him an interested look.

“What makes you think he could have a heart condition?”

“Look, these hermit types usually ain’t young. They are there, sure. But an old guy deciding to cut ties to most of civilization… that’s more a story people would believe. Maybe he told them to be some kind of veteran or something like that. Having a military background would also explain why he could handle the task in the first place.”

Now Ella had to nod appreciative. “Good thought. For someone not thinking he actually existed you seem to have quite the idea about who he was.”

“Yeah, well, just because I believe he’s not real doesn’t mean you’re wrong. Actually I think you will prove me wrong pretty fast.”

Ella had to laugh and continued driving in silence for some time. “Okay, and then when the guy died, Hastrom took over. He knew the task to continue for the sake of the operation. Maybe he was waiting for a new operative when his coworker found him in the cabin. And then the FBI showed up and the cabin got sealed, before he could clean up the mess. That left him the only person in the area outside of this underground facility with Cerberus ties.”

“What if, the first team didn’t miss the hidden room?”

“You mean Hastrom made a mistake just before we showed up?”

“Yeah, he must’ve been pretty surprised, because no one actually announced us until a few hours before we landed. I think Vakarian mentioned something that Edi was pretty unnerved because she had problem reaching something for our little trip.”

“When did he say that?”

“Oh, I was in the office the morning before we left to drop off some stuff. I just wanted to be prepared just in case we wouldn’t go back to our apartments upon our return.”

“You seem to be very prepared for about anything, Agent Vega,” she said with a grin and an impressed tone.

“I try to.” He turned his face, but Ella could see his slight blush nevertheless and smirked.

When they returned to the camp, there was not much the team could tell them, except that it was definitely Cerberus down there and they had worked on either some kind of virus or some kind of cure or vaccine for a virus. There had been a good bunch of different fingerprints that were still running through the database. Sadly all surveillance camera footage had been deleted, but Liara and Tali were already working on that.

They were still working as well on getting access to the “danger Zone” area, but were positive to accomplish that within the next four hours. What left Ella and the part of her team who didn’t have special skills in technical or medical fields with assessing the evidence they had. Like files that had already been decrypted.

Among the evidence that still needed to be worked on was the DNA samples of several human beings that have been here, probably test subjects. Liara mentioned that she would prefer it if Cerberus had tested whatever they were doing here on themselves, but she was realistic enough to know that this wasn’t the case.

A few hours later when they could enter the restricted zone of the facility they found high security storage rooms and cabinets for containers. Liara knew them from her work in a medical lab and knew what ever was in them was highly dangerous. Not that it had been a surprise after “Danger Zone” had been printed in red letters on the wall, but she knew that usually they were used to preserve fragile material. She would have to run tests on those that have been left behind, because even when they were empty she most likely would find some traces of what had been inside of them. Considering the size of these rooms and cabinets... there must have been a lot more of them. All of them gone with Cerberus.

With all of this success in shutting down this facility, whatever they had been doing here, it still left a bitter taste in Ella’s mouth. At least two people dead. At least two more investigations they had to keep their eyes on. And then there was this organic material Liara was trying to identify. She was a bit scared what they would find once had been in these containers and what Cerberus was carrying around in the rest of them.

It has been two intense and exhausting weeks. It had taken the crime scene team to get through all rooms of the underground facility and gather all the available evidence. It had been their luck that they had been quick. Cerberus must have feared they would enter sooner, or they would have cleaned up the place much better.

From the files on now decrypted laptops they could pin down eight more facilities, or better their names. Because even their purpose was hidden and not once mentioned. There were hints, all of them dealt with DNA alteration of some kind, but no specific goal was mentioned anywhere. As well as the places they would be able to find these facilities. Not even regions or states. Once they found a mention that it would take about three days to bring the results to Flotsam, which was the name of the facility and not the place.

They could name seventeen of the thirty seven DNA samples by now. All of them were homeless or people announced missing some years ago, what raised the question how long they had been held captive by Cerberus in the first place. Upon the third day of the search inside of the facility they had found a room filled with bodies of these people. All of them were obviously sick, covered with rashes and other bad looking wounds. By now the medical team could not determine most CODs but feared that they would find out it was one and the same Virus that had killed these people. Excluding those who couldn’t handle the stress of bein held captive or died from malnutrition or similar things common in these situations.


	8. Chapter 8

There was a new development in the case of the two rangers. Bajric had sent Ella the files of the conversation with Hastrom’s brother and Ella there found that Thomas Hastrom remembered that something had seriously changed about his brother after his family had died. It had been about ten years ago in downtown Denver during the Christmas shopping. His wife and daughter had made a small trip while he had ordered the daughter's presents. They never returned to pick him up. An accident had forced them to take a detour and they had ended up in gang territory and were both killed in a drive by shooting. They had been in the wrong place at the wrong time.

It had changed Hastrom. He had never been the most open person to persons of color, obviously forgetting that his family had immigrated here as well not even a generation ago, but after that…

Ella didn’t need to read the rest. She knew how that worked. There were almost hidden announcements in the newspaper here and there. Too spotty and rare to actually follow them. And even if you follow them you just find racist groups who ‘help’ each other with the loss of loved ones by the intruders.

It was easy for Cerberus to infiltrate these meetings and recruit those they could use. People with a background that would be of help to them, like a ranger high up in the mountains.

So that had been the way he had entered Cerberus. Yet she still didn’t know how else he was connected. Though Ella didn’t have too many hopes. With him dead probably all traceable ties have been cut.

Something that had annoyed Ella even before. In the beginning, when Cerberus still had been an official Incorporation funded partly by the military and partly by private investors they already had the reputation to be slightly racist. But there hadn’t been any true evidence for it. Whenever any connection was possible to make all ties were cut and all evidence was suddenly gone.

It took decades to prove that they had bribed and blackmailed a huge bunch of people to keep the deal with the military. After this they had vanished. Everyone connected to them had disappeared and gone into hiding. Probably some security protocol. Something they had been prepared for. Probably also for decades, because it only took them a day to delete all data they would have to leave behind and hide all persons of interest. Today their Leader was mostly referred to as The Illusive Man. He had a name, but no one used it anymore. No one had seen him in years or had any clue where to find him. But Ella had made it her goal to find him and put an end to his organization.

Cerberus managed to keep every cell separated from each other and as isolated as possible the only thing in common was the massively improved tech they used, the name and their connection to The Illusive Man. If you got him, you got all of them. Achieving their goals in this way was a huge accomplishment, because in the past most organization operating in cells has fallen apart at some point. Cell leader going rogue and disconnecting the respective cell from the main organization completely. Just to fail on their own. Internal disagreements were what made it possible to get these criminal organizations. Just Cerberus had been successful so far.

But now that they had a better idea what to look for, they would be able to find more facilities like this one. They would be able to cause setbacks in whatever they were developing there.

Because Ella was afraid that they were actually testing a new disease instead of fighting one that had been there before. A group like them was capable of almost anything!

It was late on a Friday evening, when Ella was preparing to head into a free weekend. They had agreed to take weekends in rounds. This one was James, Tali and Ella the next one would be for Liara, Edi and Garrus. These weekends were not completely free, but they could leave town and still a team would be left to operate and start anything that might come up. All of them had their mobiles on and in case they were in areas with a bad connection as well satellite phones. It had been something they had organized in a time when all of them hadn’t seen a free day in weeks and were so burnt out that they have begun to make mistakes. They had put together groups that made sense.

They could handle most situations until the rest of the team arrived and they could work with full force. And with a bit of luck each of them could have a free weekend at least every other week.

Ella had kept her word and kept her distance to James as much as possible. With all these tasks at hand there hadn’t been a lot of space for personal chatter anyway. When each of them left the office in the evening they all were tired and drained and barely able to perform simple sentences.

She was someone who didn’t connect easily with people and who can’t help but let people work for her trust. Her experiences within the military have shaped her on this instance. Everyone was looking for a personally better stance and a career boost, even when it meant to stab people in the back.

She didn’t except James to do something like that, but she wouldn’t lower her standards just because they had some things (or also a lot) in common. It was almost scary, hos fast she accepted him into the team and had given him tasks on his own like every other member. Of course she hadn’t missed Garrus’ glances and little smirks, but she knew she was doing the right thing. He was like them. Their work took most over of most of their lives and like them he was determined, strong willed and intelligent. All of them had their strengths. For now he was a good thinker. He saw things and connections, what he had said in the car about the man up in the mountains? All of it had been right. Even before they’d had any information on the man her own analytical min had told her the same things.  And it turned out that both of them had been right. The man who had been living up in the cabin for almost one and a half year had been 78 years old. A veteran, communication specialist and with a diabetes and several other issues. He should have never lived up in these heights but with enough money and the right motivation... well people do strange things. They hadn’t found his body so far, but, he had stopped coming into the station about half a year ago. Talking to other rangers gave them the information that Hastrom had convinced them that he’d seen him more or less regularly and had even given them believable little informations on him, like he had a cold or things like that. He had pretended that he had been running errands for him and had brought the usual brown envelope with him ever Friday when he had returned from the cabin of the old man. His name had been George Talbert.

So he had at least one strength, which would maybe eventually lead to a change in the teams that would take leave on the weekends, because if he would be able to make the same connections as she was he would be needed on the other team, not beside her. But before she could make this decision she had to be sure he would be able to lead and call the shots. Something he had avoided so far – naturally being the new guy. Time would tell.

But for now he was becoming part of her little family. Another thing that made him like them. All of them had on or another issue with their families. Fathers who had been putting too much pressure on their children, raising them with a too strict hand or with too little time for them because of their work, or mothers who were proven traitors.

And when things got too tight with their families they were there for each other. Met, drank or just talked. Even leaving each other alone if necessary – not without making sure that they had their backs, whatever might come. They took care of each other when their real families couldn’t or wouldn’t.

Like when Tali’s father had died and when Liara’s mother had committed treason. They had stuck together.

And yet Ella tried to keep some distance. She had lost too many people close to her and was afraid what might happen if she lost one of them in case they grew too close. All of them knew they could call her at any time of the day or night and she would come as soon as possible to help them, but that didn’t mean she would let them know when she needed help. Garrus had the talent to see through her mask sometimes. But he never forced her to talk about it. He let her always know that he was there for her, but otherwise didn’t indulge any further. She dealt with things on her own. She had done it for so long and didn’t even know how to change it.

And that was what James hadn’t expected. He hadn’t been prepared for her to go back to this distanced behavior once they were back from the cabin. When he stood at her desk to call it a night and leave he hesitated. “Uh, Shepard?”

“Yes?” She looked up from her computer screen and raised her eyebrows – an invitation to continue.

“Well,” again his hand moved to the back of his neck and rubbed his skin there slowly. “I was thinking, maybe you wanna accompany me for a beer? After this week I could use one and… yeah I though you as well.”

She bit her lips for a moment and pondered how to put it in an appropriate way. She didn’t want to be rude, but she also didn’t want to let him in the false hope that this could happen. But eventually she decided for the straight reply. “No, thank you,” she said with an apologetic smile – well it never hurt to be nice and she actually meant it. “I still have to finish this and then I just want home. I’m sorry.”

James nodded, not offended, but maybe a bit disappointed. “Oh, okay, maybe another time then? You look like you could use a distraction, to be honest.”

H had a point. Ella could use the distraction, but she also knew where this was leading to and it was definitely not the direction they should take. “I’m okay. Really. I’m fine, James.” She assured him unnecessarily twice in one sentence.

“You sure? Since we’re back from the cabin you’ve been pretty tensed up and quiet. You barely spoke bout anything else than the case.”

She chuckled a bit. “Actual that is the way I am, James. You’re right, I am tensed up. We are making finally huge progress on this and this is giving us some kind of lead. It is a hell lot of work and things I have to organize and take care of, but we’re no longer searching for the needle in a haystack. But, and that is probably what this is really about: the way things were up in the cabin are not the ways things are here. I let it go up there. It was a different environment and a difficult situation for me. I agree that we connected on some level, but here we are not on our own and have to perform a job. Too personal connections interfere with the job and our ability to make the right decision when they are needed. We’re not the military, but even our asses are on the line often enough.” She sighed. “Look, I like you. So far you have been a huge asset for the team and I approve deeply with Anderson’s decision to have requested you. But that is exactly the reason why this has to stay strictly professional between the two of us. I wanna keep you on the team and not have to ask for a reassignment for you because things get complicated. If you need, anything, really, let me know and I will do my best to help, like for anyone else on team. But I don’t meet my coworkers regularly for drinks.” Maybe she was stretching it the term coworkers a little bit, because all of them were more to her than just people she used to work with. But their relationships were different than what had been between James and Ella. And she was afraid what might happen if she let it go any further.

He had listened quietly and not even drawn breath to say anything. Even after she’d finished talking he stayed quiet for another moment until he nodded. “Yeah, I understand. You’re right, I shouldn’t have asked. I never saw you going out with the rest so far, but… Well, we better forget I asked. I understand your reasons.” _–better than you might think, Lola._ He smiled, but Ella could see that it was at least partly forced. He really had wanted to have this damn beer with her. And she was absolutely sure that it had been the only thing he’d had in mind for this: a nice conversation over a beer in some nice bar. But she knew how things had felt between them in that fucking cabin. “You got plans for the weekend?”

“Yes,” she smiled a bit excited. “I’ve got a date with a hummer and a muddy mountain track tomorrow. And on Sunday I’ll probably be licking my wounds from that trip.”

He laughed. “Okay, sounds like beer wouldn’t have been the best idea then anyway. So, uhm … we see each other on Monday then, I guess?”

“Yep, she nodded and smiled at him. “Have a nice weekend yourself, Vega. And you should ask Garrus next time. I have the feeling the two of you would have a great time.”

“Yeah, I’ll do that. Sounds good.” He would ask Garrus, but the way he smiled told her that it wouldn’t be exactly the same. “Oh, and Shepard?”

“Yeah?”

“Drive carefully.”

“That’s not the point of that trip,” she called after him with a wide grin on her face.

She could hear him laughing when he entered the elevator.

It was for the better he left alone tonight. Yes, deep down inside she would have loved to agree on his invitation. But she told herself again that it was for the better.

She had seen the slight disappointment in his eyes. He was good ad hiding it, but not good enough. He had tried to act normal and Ella appreciated it. Right here she believed it would work exactly the way she had planned, Staying coworkers despite the fact that even after this short time they knew each other good enough to see though some of their facades. Like James hiding his true feeling about this rejection.


	9. Chapter 9

Her words a month ago had been meant the way she had said them. She believed that keeping their distance would be the key to professionalism. At least enough they wouldn’t do anything stupid. Like getting closer on a personal level than they should. And that seemed to be a constantly present “threat” for the two of them.

It was harder to stay away from James than Ella had anticipated. the Gevity between them seemed almost unnatural to her and got more than one glace from Garrus telling her that it was obvious, at least to him, and to remind her that he had told her so.

And of course he wouldn’t miss a single opportunity to let her also verbally know that he had told her had make a bit of fun of her situation. Ella only had wry grins left for him, because she knew that telling him otherwise was a lost cause at this point. He was sure he saw something that wasn’t there and there was nothing she could do about it. And Garrus was of course sure he was right and all of this, he was seeing was real.

And yet… despite all of her best efforts they still got closer. They didn’t need to talk, finished each other’s sentences or didn’t have to because they knew exactly what the other one wanted to say.

It had been six weeks since they had found the first facility and since then they had shut down another one, with exactly the same amount of work. The case of Hastrom’s killing was still open, but slowly getting cold. Ella had expected this and asked Anderson to offer her help to Bajric, who was frustrated to no end. Both teams would profit from this, so the director agreed – as long as her own team would still be her priority. To which she agreed.

The murdering of the other ranger was now closed. All evidence that could be found indicated that Hastrom had killed him exactly the way Ella and James had guessed and so it was solved.

All of this together led the team to the thought that some celebration was in order. It was their greatest success in a while and all of them had done incredibly work and have deserved this. So they had a date for Friday evening and all of them would take the Saturday off.

Friday 1 am

They sat at one of the tables along the walls on opposite benches both having a beer in front of them. They had drunken a bit, taken a few shots earlier, but not enough to be actually drunk. Yet it was almost enough for Ella to forget what she had said some time ago. And since they were here on private terms anyway it wouldn’t matter much to exchange some words and have a good time. That was what this evening had been about, right? And she had a good time with James, Even more so when Garrus had joined them. And after Tali had sat down beside Ella it has even gotten better… at first. It just took the two others ten minutes to make this conversation about tech and awkward flirting. James and Ella exchanged more than one glance with raised eyebrows clearly not understanding a single word of what the two talked about and cringing on their inside because of the awkwardness this conversation had become.

James almost pleaded her non verbally to do something, get them out of here. It was painful – mostly because holding back the snickering started hurting.

So eventually Ella got up from her bench and asked Tali to let her out, because she needed some air and James caught his chance to follow her.

“We really should get outside for a bit,” she said to him. “I think I have enough of awkward flirting for one evening.”

James chuckled and followed her through the door and onto the street. “They always like that?”

“What awkward? Yah, pretty much, whenever they get the chance. Though I didn’t know it was serious enough they make a fool of them in front of both of us. So far I’ve thought only I had the honors.” She grinned as she turned around to look at him, her back turned to the door.

It was only a few steps they had taken outside until they stopped, assuming it was enough, though a few minutes of light conversation and almost forgetting where they were, they were proved wrong – it wasn’t enough when a drunken person tried to leave the bar in a hurry.

His weaving was strong enough so he did collide with Ella and push her hard enough to make her stumble. Only James’ quick reaction prevented her from falling. He grabbed her and held her almost close, their bodies almost flush against each other, not quite, but close enough to feel the warmth of their bodies in the cold of this late August night. Ella’s hands grabbed for his upper arms, still trying to regain her balance and only a moment later, when she had achieved this she their eyes met as she looked up at him. And for the blink of an eye – feeling like minutes – there was just the two of them. They were both too surprised, too… caught in the moment to even hear the mumbled apologies of the man who had brought them in this situation.

Her eyes were moving slowly over his face and especially his scars. It became hard to withstand the urge to lift a hand and touch them. From the first day on she had thought they gave him character, made him more attractive even. She thought of her own scars on her face from an injury two years ago where half of her facial bone structure had been chattered. They were small in comparison, light and shallow. Though more visible the more tanned she got, and more pink-ish the more stress she had. So right now eh would be able to see them quite well.

Her tongue moved over her lips, a movement, she wasn’t aware of and what was only a natural reaction to looking at his lips, or the scar that parted the right half of his bottom lip and left a small aisle in his beard. There were more urges coming up from deep down inside of her, the longer she looked at him. And not only once did she remember that it would be against her own rules.

She held her breath when she felt his hands pressing a bit more against her back and intensified her grip on his arms as a response, straightened her back a bit and turned her head a bit more upwards. She could smell his aftershave, could smell him. And her instinct liked it. Of course it could be chemically explained, but neither of them would have cared for an explanation and only for the effect it had on them. Ella couldn’t tell if his face got a bit closer, yet it felt like it and made her move towards him as well, slowly, maybe even carefully and hesitant, but moving.

“Hey, Shepard. Look, who’s here!” The familiar voice of Garrus called from the door.

The two of them snapped out of their moment immediately and almost jumped back a step, though not completely letting go of each other. One of Ella’s hands remained on James’s arm and one hand of him moved from the small of her back to her waist. And despite being all embarrassed about the situation they have been caught in, a moment if weakness, it was good to feel his hand.

When Ella turned her head to Garrus, he grinned and pointe to the pavement.

He eyes widened and she started to smile. “Kaidan…” her first instinctive reaction was to walk over to him, but the look on his face showed her that it was completely inappropriate considering they had parted a few months back. He had questioned her loyalties and the only encounter after that hadn’t been much better. He was reserved, but there was something in his eyes that told her he was here to at least try. They had been close friends and he had hurt her a lot with his accusations, though she had never given up hope he would paddle back and would give her the opportunity to explain. The opportunity to start over.

“I thought I might drop by and congratulate on your success and maybe talk a bit with my old partners.” A crooked smile spread his lips a bit. And Ella couldn’t help but smile back.

“That sounds good,” she said with a nod and still smiling like a dork – a drunken one.

She let Kaidan enter first and then started to move herself. Her head turned to James with an apologetic expression on her face. Not that she was leaving, but that this had happened in the first place. It had been wrong and they almost had made a terrible mistake. It was for the better they had been interrupted. She knew it. And he should as well.

And he did. Though he also thought he saw something else on her face, something she probably wasn’t aware of. Yeah she was not regretting to leave, but maybe for a split second she regretted they had met under these circumstances. The way her eyes moved once again over his face, before she turned around. The way her hand was sliding down his arm instead of just removing it directly. And how this provoked a short contact of their hands and fingers. He didn’t know if it was only wishful thinking but for a small moment it felt like her fingers were searching for his, almost searching for a contact that wasn’t necessary, yet made.

And then she was gone and he stood out here, his heart still dancing samba inside of his chest, her scent still lingering in his nose – no perfume, just a tangy flowery note mixed with her own scent – and the feeling of her slightly calloused palm under his fingers. Dios, he hadn’t planned this. None of this. Neither wanting her, nor almost kissing her. But now he stood here, his heart in his throat and with the intense feeling of disappointment. Because despite what had happened just moments ago, he knew on Monday it would be like it had been this afternoon: they would be coworkers again, she was his boss. And he understood her well enough by now, that he realized that this had probably been his only chance. From now on she would keep her distance even more and avoid being alone with him. Probably ever again. Maybe actively avoid him altogether. Call for a transfer of him… He cursed internal in his mother’s tongue and went back inside to grab his jacket.

He saw her standing with this Kaidan guy at the bar and talking. His mood was already bad enough for two things: wither get drunk like hell, what would only get easier to watch her crossing her own fucking boundaries with him right there in front of James, or leave and go to bed.

He decided for the latter. Maybe after a drink at home, or some.


	10. Chapter 10

“What did he say,” James asked from the passenger’s seat.

“The headquarters have been infiltrated and are under attack.”

“You’re shitting me?” James could hardly believe it, as did she and in the rear mirror she saw Garrus disbelieving face.

“Wish I was.” She shook her head and engaged the reverse. Before one of the two men could say anything she stopped and drove again forwards – as fast as possible and crashed through the barrier.

“Whoa, Lola, what the fuck…?”

“Do you wanna wait here till Cerberus opens the barrier for you? Or walk? No? Then stop whining,” she snapped at him. She could see Garrus’ grim smile in the rear mirror, but he didn’t dare to say a single word. This was no joke. They had come for her home. This was… personal. No one would hurt her family. There were innocents here, people who had nothing to do with Cerberus. Witnesses, visitors and… her family.

She didn’t say a word when she stopped in front of the main entrance and got out of the car, not even caring to close the door of the car, but heading for the trunk. None of them said a word when they geared up. And for a second all of them were glad they had taken one of the bureaus’ cars instead of a private one.

Equipped with bulletproof vests and lights attached to their weapons they entered through the front door of the building, after each of them had grabbed some spare munition. Like in the facility that didn’t need to talk – signs were enough. And when they had to talk, each of them spoke exactly as loud as necessary for their headsets to catch it.

Their movements were fluid and each of them knew exactly what they had to do while they secured room after room of the entrance area. In one storage room they found two journalists who the told to stay exactly where they were. The way behind them was probably cleared, but the building had way too many entrances and hallways to be sure. It was easily possible to sneak up behind them if they had been noticed by now. Staying in hiding was the best shot right now until the building was actually secured and back up was here.

They encountered their first opponents in front of the stairs. Two well-aimed shots from Ella and Garrus were enough. They wore bulletproof vests as well, yet their heads were uncovered and standing there out in the open was almost an invitation.

Oh, Ella knew she would have to stand up for these deaths. She would have to explain why she had killed these men instead of capture them. Negotiate while the headquarter was in danger… Or maybe the bureau forgot about the fact that they hadn’t made themselves known, well because this was the enemy infiltrating their center of operations. And for just an intense moment she felt catapulted back time a time where she had sneaked through enemy bases in Afghanistan in the dark. She shook off the memory. Yet, this was like a war scenario, though it was not in a warzone. This was her home. And if she would have to be prosecuted for keeping her family safe, then be it.

With the next opponents, they weren’t as lucky. They saw them before they could shoot them from cover. But to their luck they were much better trained. Moving from cover to cover they could flank and surprise them. This time they didn’t kill but handcuffed them to the heating on the wall.

Entering the next level of the building they suddenly heard a familiar voice from one corner. They approached Bailey, bleeding from a wound in his thigh, but it didn’t seem particularly serious, what he also told them the moment they were close enough. “It’s only a graze, but enough to keep me here while the have gone upstairs.”

He continued to explain to them what had happened so far. “they were quick and knew exactly which way they had to take to be most efficient. There were three or four cars that had entered the building on hour ago. They didn’t leave someone down there to get them out of here, so I guess they have another exfil plan for this operation,” the lead of security explained while the helped him up.

Ella agreed with him. Normally you leave at least one person in the car to make the escape quick and clean when the job is done.

On the way to the nearest security desk eh continued. “The security system started to act up by the time they had entered the building, only a minute before they left the cars, I guess. The confusion about this gave them the perfect cover to overwhelm us wherever they showed up. Communications have been blocked for long enough to let them have the upper hand.

And a few small, but well placed explosions lured everyone surely down here. Only the agents assigned to the politician’s safety stayed up there. Probably getting them to safety.”

Ella furrowed her brows. What are you talking about? What politicians?  Which agents?” Her questions came in a quick barrage, but they didn’t’ have a lot of time and she needed Baily to tell her the important things.

“Some people from the pentagon and the Israeli embassy. The locked themselves up in the vid conference room all day. Only people with a security level high enough were allowed to enter.”

“So that’s been the reason Thane is here and Kaidan’s with them, I guess?” Her brain was finally catching up with what’s happening here. The Israeli government had their own serious problems with Cerberus. In the past seven years several of Mossad’s operations have been interrupted by Cerberus. Ella knew of it, because the CIA had given the information to the FBI for her investigations. When she had met Thane some years ago they had worked well together and both of them had seen the profit for both of their agencies if they worked closer together. This meeting was a result of a conversation the two of them had had back then.

Bailey nodded. “Yes. He stayed with them since the moment they had left their car.” His fingers were already working on the terminal they had reached and enabled the communication and got access to the security cameras throughout the building complex.

“Good. Garrus, you go to Liara’s lab. I bet she’s still there. I know she can handle herself in general, but not against a brutal force of Cerberus operatives. I am most certain there will be an explosive device. Defuse it. Liara, if she’s still there will be able to help you. But: don’t take unnecessary risks. If you can’t do it grab Liara and her back up files as well as the fucking virus and get the hell out of here. Let her pack her stuff while you start working on the bomb. No delays.” Garrus nodded and left. There was no need for him to wait. “Bailey, get word to the CIA and the NCIS, I need their MTAC to locate the helicopters that will be deployed fir Cerberus’ exfil. They probably jammed our satellite as well. And don’t let them tell you some bullshit, we have 30 minutes tops. Also inform MPD. We may need some roadblocks.”

Bailey nodded. “Yeah, I already sent word to MPD, they’re probably already on their way.”

“Good,” Ella nodded. “Try to keep an eye on their movements, we are so few people here that we can’t risk any more surprises. Let me know if there’s anything important.” She saw James’ expecting glance to get this task. “You’re with me.”

He seemed okay with it. Ella didn’t see any sign of disappointment on his features for not getting a special task on his own. Or maybe that had been what he had wanted anyway. After all it didn’t matter, because it was what made most sense.

Further up their way led them and now the met the rest of the opposition. The better ones of them. Because before there had only been grunts, smaller weapons, less aim and definitely less gear in general.

Cerberus had been prepared for some fighting. Maybe not them. The average Agents was really good, but had barely Marine training. So constantly trying to flank the enemy and force them with this tactic into a certain position was nothing the enemy was prepared for, but felt natural to them. They didn’t need any verbal communication. Hand signs used by most soldiers were given in hiding, what gave them an advantage to the enemy. They didn’t have to talk. Where official signs weren’t enough… well there they just had to look at each other and knew exactly what the other was about to do.

Two hallways down, they eventually met the one carrying the data in a suitcase and the virus samples in a safety container. Ella almost got him, when he suddenly turned around and held one of the politicians as a shield in front of him. Both Ella and James didn’t have the right angle to take a shot without risking the ambassador. So she tried to negotiate, but he just made fun of her. She would swallow her own sharp remarks – for now until she could think of a better idea.

The idea presented itself as a former Mossad Agent who showed up behind the man threatening the Ambassador. Ella didn’t have to distract him any further because only a moment later Thane attacked him and a fast and hard fight started in front of her. All she could do was pulling the Ambassador out of the way and watch. She had her weapon ready – just in case. But taking a shot would have risked Thane’s life. A risk she was not willing to take. Her eyes followed the fight and she realized that Thane was the better trained one, yet he was at a disadvantage. The cystic fibrosis which had forced him to quit active duty would let him lose this fight if he didn’t end it soon.

Ella just made the move to intervene, when she saw a metallic shine for just a moment and she knew she was too late. Thane’s groan let her freeze for the blink of an eye. She watched him sink to the floor while the attacker left in a hurry.

She knelt down beside thane and pressed her hand to the wound, warm blood coloring her hands and sleeves red. She could barely breathe. “Stay with me,” she whispered.

“Go, don’t let him escape,” groaned and looked at her with a meaningful glance. There was a short non-verbal conversation between the two of them until Ella eventually nodded.

“I’m sorry.” She hesitated for another two seconds then she grabbed for her gun and started running, barking into her headset for Bailey to get a medical team up here ASAP.


	11. Chapter 11

Following Shepard wasn’t getting any easier. He assumed she had been close with him. The way she’d looked at him… there were a lot of things he didn’t know about her. But none of this mattered now, because he started to have problems to follow her and something told him to stay as close as possible, because if this had been personal before, he had no fucking idea what it was now.

Her steps carried her closer to her target and at the same time closer to the roof. She knew that Kaidan would have brought the people from the conference room up here as well. If the way down was blocked this was the protocol. And Kaidan would stick to it and Cerberus would know that as well.

So Ella followed them, she had to. Among the enemy reasons she needed to know why today. A reason why exactly when all of these people where in the building at the same time. And she also knew the person who had suggested this date, who had been part of the planning, like with all similar meetings before. He would know exactly who, where and when and for how long…. There was only one connection to all of this and only one person who’d profit from certain dead key figures. Who would be able to stop working with Mossad, if he had a saying in it? Who could further his influence on the agency, their actions and the pentagon? And who would then be involved in her team’s investigation and would be able to sabotage them with denying sanctions?

She ran even faster and stopped using cover. She heard him whisper in her headset, when she set aside all of her professionalism for her anger. When the encountered opposition again, she had to jump back before she ran into the guy. But the man in front of6 loud as necessacy for their headsets to catch it. of the building, after each of them had grabbed some psare munition. he car had seen her before she could raise her gun enough to shoot at him and with a quick kick by him her gun was out of her hand and slithering over the floor of the hallway. Ella had to make a very quick decision, she could jump after it and hope to be fast enough, or she could fight the man in close quarter. He wasn’t hat enormously tall and broad. There was a chance she could win this, or at least give James the chance to shoot. So she decided for the latter.

Kicks and blows were exchanged and more than once Ella found herself in a more defensive stance than she had hoped for. She hated she knew it was necessary. She had to wait for him to make a mistake she could use as leverage. Actually hurt him than make him tired. She didn’t have the time to make him tired. But right he was the one with the slightly upper hand; he grabbed for her vest and pulled her around just to push her against the wall the next moment. Her head hit the wall heavily but she still managed to get him off balanced with a well-placed kick against his knee. He was not prepared for it and started to stumble with a growl out of pain. But before he could actually fall he grabbed for her arm and twisted it, rapidly and abruptly enough. She knew what would happen. It had been a long time, almost twenty years, yet she would never forget the feeling of this – when her ulnar would break under the pressure. And there was nothing she could do. It happened too fast and the similarity of the situation almost immobilized her. though in her mind ti felt like a slow motion in which she could feel how her bone tried to withstand but eventually gave in, the sharp pain running from her wrist to her shoulder, making her yell out in pain.

Her yell got James attention who had been busy until now with another opponent, Ella hadn’t even seen in her rage. He wanted to help, raised his gun, but she still fought, didn’t stop, even with her obviously injured arm. At first it seemed a bit helpless, but James wasn’t sure if she wasn’t just pretending, trying to lure him into a trap. There was still more to her and the way she moved. He reckoned the adrenaline in her system would block most pain and she thought her capable of such a move. But then he saw the knife in the man’s hand and got seriously scared. Yet they were still changing positions too fast for him to shoot safely at Ella’s attacker.

He was right, the adrenaline kept her from feeling any pain right now. Of course her now useless arm was hindering her. Against James’ fear she saw the glistening of the shiv in her attacker’s hand. She had to be quick and she only had one fucking try. So she waited for him to make the first move to stab her. Until he did it. With a quick turn she was suddenly beside him grabbed his arm with her healthy hand and rammed her knee into his side as soon as she got him out of balance. A second kick aimed for his knee made sure he wouldn’t get up. Yet he still though he could win it after he had fathered himself as soon as the pain had faded. But Shepard was in such frenzy, she wouldn’t take any risk and a well-aimed kick for his face sent him to the ground eventually. From the sound of it she guessed she broke his jaw.

But she couldn’t care less. All she cared for was that he wasn’t moving anymore. And only after she was sure of it she let her guard down. She fell to her knees and held her arm. She spit out blood from a few blows to her own face which had split her lip. She felt dizzy and her head ached, but she knew it wasn’t over yet. She had to get up again.

“Hey, you’re okay?”

Ella felt his hand on her shoulder and when she turned a bit toward him he realized he was close enough so she could have leaned against him if she had wanted to. Actually, it didn’t matter what she wanted. All that mattered was what she had to do.

“Yah, help me up, we have to get to the damn roof, before they’re gone or killed everyone.”

“Shepard… you’re injured…”

“Oh really? Glad you have eyes. Then tell me is there anyone else than us who can stop them?” She nearly growled at him. “Now help me getting up and then we leave.”

James gave up his opposition. But she saw in his eyes that he wasn’t happy about it and that he had a very strong opinion about her behavior. And she saw something else, something she’d rather not seen. He was worried for her. The kind of worry that had been exactly she had tried to prevent from happening.

When she picked up her Glock, she felt much better and almost started running again towards the stairs which would lead them towards the roof. She could hear James’ footsteps close behind her, securing their surrounding better than before. He took the guardian position and as much as Ella would be annoyed under normal circumstances… it was fine for her now. He would have her back, because she needed it right now. There was only so much she could do right now. She was a good shooter, had a good aim, but then again her head wasn’t spinning and she wasn’t in pain – and used both hands.

When they left the stairs and stepped out on the roof they stopped immediately when a gun was leveled at them – just not the one they had expected. Kaidan was the one placing himself between them and the politicians, Udina among them.

Ella was out of breath, beat up, her fucking arm was broken and she realized she would have to face his mistrust, or not yet rebuilt trust. It would be hard; she had no illusions of it. After everything that had been… but she did it. Somehow she could convince Kaidan to turn around and face Udina instead of her. He told her she better didn’t make him regret this and she knew she wouldn’t.

Until now Udina had only interrupted Ella whenever she had seemed to get the upper hand in the conversation what had probably been one of the reasons Kaidan had believed her eventually. Another one had been the long gaze he had given her; he had searched for any sign of a lie in her eyes, but hadn’t been able to find one.

Kaidan started to ask questions and with each one Udina couldn’t or didn’t want to answer he got more nervous and Kaidan more threatening in his whole stance. But then Udina suddenly had a weapon in his hand. It took Ella only a moment to decide what to do. Thane injured, where she still had no idea how badly. Probably a whole bunch of other Agents and civilians dead or at least injured – and now this fucker dared to threaten Kaidan and would kill all of them. He had put the lives of everyone at risk for his need for power and own benefit.

She took the shot without hesitation.

And not a moment too early. He decided to shoot at Kaidan a moment later, but missed Kaidan, because Ella ad pulled her trigger two seconds earlier.


	12. Chapter 12

The car was slowing down. After they’d left the office – or what was left of it – they hadn’t said a single word. At some point it had started to rain and Ella had begun to watch the drops of water running down her window. After some more time she was almost hypnotized by the movement of the water. She wouldn’t have minded some distraction from her own mind, but she was sure that she wouldn’t have like what he would have to tell her.

It had been very obvious from the second on things had slowed down around them. James had interrupted her when she was telling Garrus about the events after he’d left them to pick up Liara. All of them had been standing at the main entrance and watched the ambulance leaving with Thane inside. ‘She has fucking lost it.’ have been his words almost whispered to Garrus, but in such a sharp way that it almost had been a hiss. And he was right. She still was barely able to control the anger and frustration inside of her.

But to James surprise Garrus hadn’t been on his side, not exactly. “Who wouldn’t?”

James had snorted, but not said anything else. Ella had barely given him attention there, all she’d had on her mind had been Thane fighting for his life in that ambulance and the fact that Cerberus had escaped.

They had lost them. The fucking bastard had been enough ahead of them to just hide, watch them passing by and leave for another, less obvious escape plan. At least he didn’t get the virus samples. Liara did have a feeling a few days ago, she had told them when they had gathered outside of the building. While attacks on the server weren’t something exactly new, it had irked her that they had targeted exactly the laboratory files and not any other database the FBI hosted. It had seemed they hadn’t done any damage and not made it through the firewalls, but when her personal database had acted up she had made a copy of it on an external drive and to be save on a private server with Tali and relocated the virus samples to another lab. What had been in her lab were just empty canisters. So, whatever Cerberus had in their hands, it was not lost To Ella and her team and probably mostly worthless to Cerberus. Because when the attack had started, Lara had started to delete the files on the FBI server. She didn’t know how much data had still been intact, but she had made sure the deletion had started with the newest files, so Cerberus still had no idea where Ella and her team stood. They still had the upper hand.

And it still didn’t cheer Ella as much up as it should. The bastard who had injured Thane was gone and she had no idea who he was or how she would be able to make him pay for what he had done.

But now she knew one thing. She was getting closer to them. She was getting so fucking close that they considered a risky move like this worth it.

When James stopped the car she leaned back and let out a sigh. For a moment Ella considered to ignore him and get out of the fucking car, but then she looked down at her arm in the sling and sighed as well. “Get it out before you strangle yourself with staying quiet.”

A snort left his mouth before he turned half-way around, just to look straight past her after keeping eye contact for only a brief moment. “That was fucking reckless what you did there, Shepard.”

“I did what I had to,” she replied without giving him the chance to get any deeper into this topic.

“No.”

She looked at him surprised. Had he just disagreed?

“You did exactly the opposite of what you had to do. You should have stayed in cover, you shouldn’t have engaged a close quarter combat and you should have searched for another, safer war to knock them out and get to the main target. You lost fucking time during the fight with this pendejo, who also almost…”

“Stop it! Right there, James!” She barely ever called him by his given name since that almost incident at the bar some weeks ago, but here she slipped and maybe it was for the better. “All I got is a fracture of an arm that had been broken like four times when I was a kid, as well as some bruises and a split lip – that is fucking all. So nothing you should make a damn fuss about. Is that all? Because if you have nothing else to discuss we should get the hell out of this car and into the hospital. I need a cast around my arm, a painkiller and then check on Thane.” Ella had tried to talk, but she realized it wouldn’t work. It would only lead to something she wasn’t willing to talk about. Maybe he was right; maybe she should have reacted differently. But it was a little late to think about it. Her mind right now was full of anger, pain and worry for Thane.

She opened the door, started to climb out of the car and was thoroughly surprised when James was already there to offer her a hand.

She rolled her eyes. “You just never give up, do you?”

He shook his head and a brief grin flashed of his lips before he looked at her in all seriousness. “Never.”

“James…”

“No, knock it off, Shepard. I don’t take any of the crap you’re gonna tell me now. Like you I worry for the people I care for.” He came closer when she snorted and slid out of the car herself, ignoring his hand. “You were pretty close to die there, Ella. And all I could do was watch.”

“You could have taken the shot,” she replied quietly.

“And risk killing you myself?”

“What the fuck do you want, James? It’s over; I’m standing here alive and mostly well, nothing that wouldn’t heal within a few weeks.”

He shook his head. “I want you to realize something, but… you’re too fucking stubborn to do so.”

“What? You want me to realize that you care for me? More than you should? That I have other friends and coworkers who care for me as well? That there’s more between us than is good for us?” She didn’t quite realize that she slipped up here again, she would much later, but now she was too upset to notice. “That you rather do nothing instead of taking the risk and take the shot, what would have been the right thing? What is exactly the reason this should fucking stop?”

“Parts of this, yes.” He looked at her for a moment. “This is not about what you think. I don’t kill my team mate, Ella. I keep them safe, and you took an unnecessary risk. Exactly what you would call each of us out for.”

Ella snorted and tried to walk past him, but with her arm now hurting like hell, she wasn’t able to push him away. Instead his hand was suddenly on her healthy upper arm.

“Look I can’t make you see anything you don’t want, I can’t make you see reason in this. I know you will do the same thing again, if you think you have to. But you need to understand, no matter how far away you keep each of us, we do care. No matter what you try to keep us from caring, it’s already too late. And I will call you out on your bullshit, because I do care. I won’t watch you kill yourself. Beside everything we are or not, I call you a friend, Ella. And I tend to be honest with my friends. I owe them that much – I owe  y o u  that much.”

She raised her head and a bit of her stubborn expression faded. Surprised by this statement. One she almost could understand and accept. Yet... if she gave in now… “You owe me nothing. You don’t understand…”

“Oh, I do,” he interrupted her. “I’m neither blind nor stupid. He means a lot to you. I don’t care what he is to you or what he did to earn this, but I can see that you care a lot about him. And let me make a guess here: this is what happens when people you care that much about are in danger; you lose your fucking shit and risk more than you should. That is what makes you so afraid of any not work related relationships. And I can understand that. I know what it feels like. But you have to keep it together. Losing control like you have today… that’s not who you are or who you wanna be, Ella. And I  k n o w  you are better than that.”

She sighed and her gaze dropped. He was right. For a brief moment she felt his hand soften around his arm before he pulled her a bit closer to close the door behind her.

“C’mon, let’s go inside. He will be glad to see you when he wakes up from the surgery.” James smiled. He hid the fact that he had a bad feeling about the outcome of this surgery. He hadn’t looked good when they had close the doors of the ambulance and from what he’d heard his general condition hadn’t been good to begin with. James wasn’t sure what it would do to Shepard if thane wouldn’t make it. He knew she would try to send him away, but he would stay nevertheless. There was literally nothing that could make him leave now or anytime soon until he knew she was okay. She might not want him the same way he wanted her, but he would never stop offering to be a friend to her, without expecting anything less in return than respect. Deciding to stay until he knew she was okay, could very well mean he wouldn’t be home tonight – or the next three days for what mattered, but he couldn’t say he care too much about this fact.


	13. Chapter 13

The last months since he had joined them, he had never seen her like this, or even a hint that she could be like this. Fragile, hurt – fuck this was worse than he had thought.

James had naturally refused to leave after the hospital staff had taken care of Ella and had waited outside of Thane’s room. The bad feeling hadn’t faded. And when she left the room he knew what his gut feeling once again had been right.

He instantly got up from the bench and walked towards her until he stood close in front of her. Ella raised her head and looked at him, answering his silent question with a slow shake of her head.

“Shit,” he whispered when he placed a hand on her shoulder and carefully pulled her closer – and to his utter surprise she let it happen. Shepard even leaned her forehead against his shoulder and didn’t mind his arm moving around her shoulder, holding her close. There was no need for words. She just needed hm to be there for her in this moment.

They stood there for what felt like an eternity, Jams at a loss for words – or better the right words, while his head was full of things he wanted to say.

But eventually all that left his mouth was: “C’mon, let’s get you out of here.”

And Ella just nodded. He let one of his arms round her shoulders and led her to the elevator. They didn’t talk. And what should they have said, anyway? Ella just let him take lead for the moment and barely looked up until they reached the car.

Inside she just pulled her mobile out of the pocket of her jeans and entered her address into her navigation app and handed it to him. Quietly they listened to the instructions if the app while James drove the exhausted, injured and sad Agent home. Her apartment was a bit outside of the city, so it took them a while and gave James plenty of opportunity to shoot side glances at her. She hadn’t shed a single tear by now. She looked numb, in a state of shock and he was worried what might happen when the dam would eventually break. Or even worse if it would never.

James couldn’t fight the feeling like he was suffering with her. He didn’t know the guy, but he knew of loss and the way she stared out of the window, her eyes not moving with the street lamps, he guessed it wasn’t the first time he had to face a situation like this one. This was something she had experienced before and all of her memories were now flooding her mind. Her pain was so intense that he felt it like was with her in this. Or maybe it was something else, but in any way it was intense.

And right here he realized something else. He had been impressed by this strong woman he so far had only read about. The woman who never gave up until she had reached her goal, who would make the needed sacrifices to reach the desired goal. And then he had met her and faced exactly the stereotype he had expected her to be, strong willed, smart, funny even, better looking than on the pictures, but naturally so. Now, he realized that everything of this had been right. But that part of this was also a façade. A mask to keep herself from being hurt. Like today. She was so afraid that she might lose someone (else?) she loved that she was afraid to engage herself in anything more than a loose friendship.

Al of them had their shell, or walls to keep them safe from too much hurt and pain. They were in a line of work where losses could happen. And considering she had been military before, even more so – it was part of the job. What if she had lost someone he had truly loved? He had learned today that her truly soft spot was losing someone she loved. Someone she had let look behind her shell.

It made his wish to be one of those people only stronger. She deserved to have a friend. Someone who knew her better and… shit, he didn’t even know how to do that and even less why he thought he could be this person in the first place. But James Vega was not a person to give up easily. The two of them had a connection, strangely strong and he somehow knew he could do that.

When they reached her apartment and he stopped the car in front of the apartment building he realized something else: she must have loads of money. This was one of these exclusive addresses I town with these fancy loft apartments. He turned his head and looked at her.

“Thank you,” she said very quietly.

“You sure you can handle this alone?” He was nodding towards the cast, but they both knew he didn’t ask because she had a broken arm.

Shepard nodded. “Thanks.”

He nodded as well and was silent for a short moment until she managed to unbuckle her safety belt and then his instinct told him that she was wrong. She could not. “Hey… I know what you told me, but… I really think you could need a friend right now. Lemme stay. I would feel like crap if I left now and... Just an hour or two until you calmed down and then I leave – promised. No strings attached.” He held his breath waiting for her answer. He didn’t have high hopes she’d agree. She was sure he had started it the wrong way and her stubbornness wouldn’t give him that chance.

But to his surprise she nodded.

James couldn’t help but admire her taste in furnishing. The apartment was held in light colors, mixed with dark woods everything held as natural as possible. Ella showed him the guest room so he could change into the clothes he had picked from his trunk before they had gone upstairs. She let him know that she would be in the kitchen once she had gotten out of the blood stained clothes herself.

While he waited for her to return in the living area of the apartment she took a look around and looked at pictures from the day in the Corps. There was one face that was seen more than others. And he saw her smiling a lot. She looked more carefree than today. Beautiful, he decided. She must have been really happy back then.

“That’s ten years ago,” she said suddenly from behind him. He hadn’t heard her returning and felt kinda caught bloody handed. She seemed to catch his feeling and smiled softly. “It’s okay; they’re here to be looked at.”

James nodded and pointed to the man’s face he had seen on most pictures. “Who’s he?”

The smile on her face vanished and James knew he had made a mistake. “His name was Derek. We were… friends.”

James nodded, he understood. All of it. They had been more than Friends and ‘was’ meant he was dead. From the look on her face KIA. And she’d never made it truly past this. Her soft spot.

Without another word on this she walked over to the kitchen and offered him tea. Like nothing had happened and she had never given away this detail about her.

In retrospect he couldn’t tell how it had happened but he didn’t leave after two hours. Instead he found himself on the couch with her watching TV. They hadn’t spoken a single word since he had agreed to the tea. He hadn’t dared to ask another dumb question and his presence hadn’t been about talking anyway. They were comfortable here and she was sitting closer to him than ever before. Even when he placed her arm on the rest behind her she didn’t shift away or say anything. His presence wasn’t about talking anyway. It was about comfort and when she leaned against him he started to believe he could actually offer it to her, because she started to let him. He could feel her silent trembling against his chest – the only indication of her crying until her tears fell to his shirt and left wet spots. He placed his arm around her and stroked her back tenderly. He refrained from telling her everything would be okay. He knew it wouldn’t – not anytime soon.

And then all of a sudden she started to talk. Her voice strained with her tears and it almost broke his heart to hear her like that, but he would be an idiot to stop her, just because it hurt him so see her like that. She told him about her crisis during her undercover job. That she had felt far too comfortable in these surroundings and that many things had felt far too easy to do than she had liked. She had started to question herself and her motives. She had started to think about what she was capable of given the right chance. And she questioned her ability to be who she was before once this was over. Thane had been there for her. He had been part of her team during that time and he had helped her a great deal. Being one of Mossad’s agents who had been sent into several situations like this he had more experience and taught her a thing or two about staying herself even in a time like that. About making who she was part of the cover and not the other way around. Without him… Shepard hadn’t continued, but James had understood nevertheless.

It felt good. Having her head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat and feeling his arm around her, his hand on her arm, once his strokes had stopped with his fingers drawing small soothing circles on her skin. There was no pressure to talk. He was just here for her and held her before she could fall apart. He wasn’t expecting anything in return, nothing but that she tried to rest and do whatever she felt like. She could be silent, or talk, could sleep or be awake. He didn’t tell her what she should do or what would be the best for her. And he didn’t tell her it would all be okay – he didn’t lie to her.

And for the first time in a very long time, even after a day like this and under these circumstances she felt safe. Relaxed enough in the presence of someone else to let her guard down and sleep right where she was. She didn’t waste one thought about where she was in particular. Two hours ago she’d tell anyone it was impossible that this ever happened, but right now it was what helped her. And well, she didn’t care about it too much. All she truly cared about was that she was able to sleep, a dreamless and quiet one. At least this one time.


	14. Friends for now

They had said no strings attached. They had said only as friends but when they woke up in the morning Ella knew that it wasn’t. She couldn’t forget how good it had felt, how immensely important it had been to her that he had been there when she had woken up that night. Again they hadn’t talked and again he hadn’t expected her to explain anything. He had promised to be there for her and that he would be a friend. And he had kept that promise. At no point during the late night she did have the feeling the he had any other motives than those he had told her.

Even the next morning, when Ella prepared coffee for them, all she could see on his face was the question, if she would be okay.

“You sure you don’t wanna take a day off? I’m sure they’ll understand. Garrus and the rest of us can take care of things and I will drop by tonight to keep you in the loop.”

Ella shook her head. “I know you can. And you better would keep me in the loop, but… staying here? No, it’s not right. It wouldn’t help me.”

James nodded. “Okay, I just thought…”

“No, really, I can handle this and work will help to distract me.”

“And bury it.”

Ella looked at him in surprise and maybe a bit annoyance. But after a moment she sighed. “Crying and staring out of a window won’t let us get these bastards any faster. I will deal with it when I can and have time for it. Now the most important task is to get them and make sure they get what they deserve.”

James raised his eyebrows. There was this strange tone in her voice. “And what would that be?”

“That depends,” she answered him in all honesty. “Those guys ain’t worth it to become a murderer, but I will not try to get them alive at all cost. If they run I’ll take the shot.” She knew saying this was hard on the fringe to be sent straight for psych eval, but she trusted James and didn’t want to lie to him.

And she was right, because the Agent sipping on his coffee sitting in her kitchen nodded. “Can’t blame ya. I was just worried for a moment.”

“And I can’t blame you for that. Starting a personal vendetta is probably something people think me capable of,” she replied with half of a grin on her lips.

He chuckled lightly and shook his head.

Yeah, they still were friends. Ella realized, yet she couldn’t help the tiny shiver that ran down her spine when she heard his laugh. They didn’t behave different around each other and yet it felt different.

“So, uhm… I better get home for a shower or I’ll be late and my boss will probably have my ass for that one. “

Ella just grinned and nodded, yeah he probably better left now. Because it would be awkward to explain why they arrived at work together… On the other hand, she would have to call Garrus or take a taxi because driving with her cast would have been ridiculous, even if her car would have been here and not still at the office where they had left it yesterday when James had insisted on driving her to the hospital.

So she lifted her arm with the cast and raised her eyebrows. “Uhm, I might need a ride to work.”

He grinned. “That your way to ask me to help you?”

She canted her head slightly and then nodded. “It’s one way of doing it.”

James chuckled again and nodded. “Okay, I might be able to do that. You wanna come now or shall I pick you up when I’m done?”

“Did I ask you to spend a fortune in fuel to drive around in the city or just asked for a ride?”

“You weren’t too exact about that part, Lola.”

Ella couldn’t stop the chuckle of her own. “”Okay: no, it’s fine if you just take me along – well if you’re okay with it. I seriously don’t want you to drive back and forth just to give me a ride to work.”

“That’s nice, because we would have even been later in that case and that would have led to awkward questions and glances.”

“It will anyway. Normally I would be there by now and to be honest I’m surprised Garrus didn’t call yet.”

It turned out that James was good with something else: keeping her mind busy with light conversation and jokes, what prevented her from thinking too much about Thane. After stopping at his small but tidy place they drove to work. And of course there were some glances but the cast explained it well enough, and since it had been James who had brought her home last night, it made sense that they had arranged things for the morning. So nobody was asking any questions. And news from last night were still keeping them busy anyway. The news of Thane’s death had spread and this place still needed some tidying up after the infiltration after evidence was gathered. Since the intruders were related to Ella’s case it was her team who would investigate in the main part. So as soon as she was there Garrus took her and James downstairs into the garage to let them see the cars Cerberus had left behind. Tali was already working on them for any tiny fiber of evidence. Back up in the office she sat down on her desk to check what else there was on the evidence department and reports from MDP and other agents.

Garrus was giving her a look. His raised eyebrows reminded her of the conversation they had some time ago, but Ella didn’t even bother to reply nonverbally to this. She had other things to deal with than his “I told you so” glance. She had no idea where this was leading to, but she also had come to the realization that she couldn’t control it completely. It was difficult and maybe there was a chance they could just keep this level. She had to admit that she liked being around him and he had done her a great service last night with staying and being her friend. And that was something she could accept. Friends. She just didn’t know how she should keep it there, but they would figure out how. Along the way.

But soon she had to accept that it wasn’t an easy task. One offer to spend lunch together lead to another, and that led to making it a regular thing. And when she eventually accepted the beer after work, weeks later on a Thursday she realized that she was about to break every rule in her personal book. But then again she had to admit that she didn’t care too much about it anymore.

James helped her lot mourning her friend. He kept her mind occupied when he thought it was necessary and listened and was just there when she needed. He had the ability to see what she needed. Not always but with a frightening accuracy, and most important, when it counted. And that left such an impression on Ella that she started to fear where this would lead to, because one way or another they would have to make a step in a direction at some point. Not now or exactly anytime soon, but she knew she would have to and she was afraid. She had done it before and even years later to today’s date she regretted it and wished she’d have at least the memories.

But for now… they would still be friends. Close ones, closer with each week. And at some point he was that kind of friend you wonder how in the world you have lived without before you have met. The kind you let in even when you are sick and feel as well as look like shit, because it’s okay. Because you don’t have to impress them. Their presence was more important than getting out of your pajamas or brushing your hair.


	15. You've got mail

The ongoing investigation of the attack on the headquarter kept the team incredibly busy and delayed their other leads. But after two weeks they could be sure that there was no fucking trace where they had come from. But at least they could give the man a name that had killed Thane. Kai Leng. He had been a Marine like her, had, like her, changed to the FBI after a few years, but was dishonorably discharged. He should have been charged with treason, or was searched for acts of treason, but had never been found. He was on the run ever since.

Now Ella had a name and a face she could concentrate on. Something told her that finding him, would lead her where she wanted to go. If she could somehow get a lead on him. So she invested all of her efforts on him. Everything they knew of him every sight that had been made of him. Ever teeny-tiny piece she could find. She wasn’t one of these analytical geniuses but still incredibly good so they hadn’t needed one of them so far. She just needed a bit more time. By the end of the first week she could tell them that he has been working for Cerberus for years. He had been undercover within the FBI. Ella suspected him to be the one who had tipped them off years back.

It gave her a grim satisfaction to have actually a face, a real person she could hate. Hate for what he had done. And he gave her a goal that seemed more achievable than all others. Taking Cerberus down would take them probably some more years if these facilities wouldn’t lead anywhere. So having another target, something comparably easier, was a good thing. And it kept her busy when James couldn’t.

It was mostly at work, when he couldn’t do what he wanted to. They interacted a lot more than before and Garrus even had stopped to give Ella these glances. She assumed he already thought they did have sex and she would have to clear things up at some point, but right now she still had no head for things like that. Should he believe what he wanted… All that mattered was this intense feeling of vengeance inside of her that wanted to be sated.

It was a Friday before her free weekend when things got even worse. She had cleared up most of her work before the upcoming weekend, or better what could be done and wasn’t ongoing or waiting for some kind of confirmation or whatever, when she got a mail.

She frowned because the sender was someone she knew back from the Corps, she just wondered how he had gotten this mail address. They hadn’t talked in at least six years.

But why not? Some people always manage to get the email of someone else even within the FBI. It was not _impossible_. So she shrugged and opened the mail.

Only a moment later she jumped from her chair pushing it away and yelled someone should get Tali and Liara up here. James was out of his own char within a second standing opposite from her still in front of his desk staring at her with a giant question mark floating over his head.

But Ella didn’t say anything and just pointed towards her screen.

That was invitation enough for James to round the two desks to take a look at the mail she just got and which had upset her so much.

“You shitting me?”

“When I get that bastard I’m gonna skin him alive,” she growled. So, no. This was no joke, this was real.

He apologized for using her old friend’s name for this, but this mail address hadn’t been used in three years anyway. Dead people usually don’t send mails. But since he had expected that she wouldn’t know he could be relatively sure she would open this message.

He expressed how unfortunate it had been that they didn’t have the time to introduce themselves appropriately. He would have loved to carve his name into her skin. He accepted that this time she was the winner of their little encounter. Though the death of the Mossad assassin now even felt a bit better. There was some satisfaction in killing a rival. Especially when he was such a close friend of the person who thwarted his plans. And it has been such a good plan.

But he reassured her that it didn’t matter. They would meet again and then he would have the upper hand and kill her. He reassured her it would be a clean and quick death and her friends would be able to leave the coffin open for their last goodbyes and her new best friend would have the opportunity to see the woman he wanted so badly but could never get for a last time.

Her fists were clenched and she was shaking. Breathing was difficult for her and even when her team was gathering around her desk and everyone started to work on the obvious task, she didn't feel any better.

She was chewing on the inside of her mouth while she watched them trying to find out where this message had come from, but the tracing ended soon when the signal started to jump.

“He’s still online, Shepard,” Tali said. “But I need more time to trace him. And my own equipment. I’ll go downstairs and try to do what I can. But he’s good.”

Ella nodded. “Anything I can do?” she almost choked these words out. Sure she wanted to help, but she also knew this was way beyond her technical expertise. A reason why she felt even worse. Helpless.

“You could send him a reply, if you want to.” She made a break. “Maybe you can encourage him to write something more and stay for a bit longer.” Tali was already on her way to the stairs and yelled the last words in Ella’s direction, before she vanished through the door.

Ella didn’t even need a second before she knew that she definitely would send him a message. James was still standing beside her, examining her face carefully.

“Don’t write something stupid, Lola.”

“I know what I’m doing. I can handle a situation like this.”

He raised his eyebrows and she could see clearly that he thought otherwise. And maybe he was not completely wrong.  Leng had entered a personal level and Ella had a hard time to keep her control. This was different than any other threat she had ever received. The tone in his words, the way how he threatened to hurt those people closest to her, with her death. Sure others had done similar things but not using the account of a dead friend of hers. But what kind of friend was she anyway when she didn’t even know he was dead. And that was exactly what infuriated her so much. He knew more than she and he knew how he could hit home. He had realized her weakness and that made her angry beyond anything else she had ever felt.

With a deep breath she sat down on her chair and hit the button to reply to his message.

_Dear Mr. Leng,_

_It’s sad to see that all you can do is blurting out empty threads. Yes you have killed a friend of mine, an already dying friend. Because did you know you almost lost against a terminally ill man? Let it melt in your mouth, Mr. Leng: he was terminally ill and you almost lost the fight against him._

_What does it feel like to know you not only messed up the job but also failed in showing your personal skill?_

_To be quite honest with you, I don’t care what you feel. All I care about is to find you and arrest you, if you let me. I would be deeply sorry if you would put up a fight, because I had planned to visit you in jail and have nice conversation about how your life will have changed after I have taken down the organization you are working for._

_Cerberus is about to end, as is you in freedom attacking buildings with innocents in them people who have nothing to do with me or my team or our investigation. I know you don’t care if you have killed these people; Harper has probably trained you well after you lost your job here._

_But tell me, what was it that made you frustrated enough to work for a man like him? Have your former bosses told you, you suck at your job just one time too much? And what happens if Harper starts telling you? Will you change the sides again?_

_You wouldn't be the first to be sacrificed in Harpers need for power and achieving his goals. So maybe it is you how should be afraid, because as I see it, I have friends and a team who will try their best to keep me safe. But who will do the same for you, Mr. Leng?_

_\--S._

She sent the message and leaned back. She didn’t feel better; she was still close to exploding. She had wanted to tell him completely different things, but that was what she would get away with. When push came to shove this message would show up in court and had she told him anything else than she had, they would have her ass. They probably would anyway.

Her phone rang and Ella put the call from Tali on speaker. “He’s still there, but I don’t know for how long. Right now I am trying to save all stops of the signal, so I can maybe predict the next one if he should vanish. But to have a reliable result might take me some time. An hour or two.”

“He will be gone by then, Tali”

“I know, and even if I had him now, he would still be gone until we arrived wherever he is. For all we know he could be on Hawaii.”

“Yeah, I know. Good let me know when there’s anything new, I’ll be...”

“Tail, is there any need Shepard needs to stay at her desk?” James interrupted her, apparently knowing what she had wanted to say.

“No, not at all. I’ll call her via mobile. You should just make sure she can leave the minute I got the result. You probably know how hard her punch is, in case you delay her in any way.”

James chuckled and Ella just watched the conversation with furrowed brows. What the hell was he planning to do?

“Hell yeah, I know that, she handed me my ass at seven in the morning once, after she took a run for about an hour. So no worries, I’ll drive her wherever she needs to be the second you call.”

“Then, no, take her out of here.” And Tali just hung up.

Ella stared at him when he had that look on his face that the next moment he would do something he thought necessary.

“Get up; we’re getting you out of here. I’d hate to see your head explode with all the thought going rampart inside of it.”

Ella shook her head. “No, James. I will not leave here, while my team is trying to save my ass.”

“And what do you think you gonna do while Tali is doing what she’s best at? Stare at the monitor? Do something stupid in case he sends another of these?”

Ella took a deep breath, letting the air out in a long sigh. “Okay, yeah, you’re right. Some air will be fine.”

“Yeah I wasn’t thinking about air exactly. Come and take your gun.” He was on his way to his desk and took his own weapon out of the drawer of his desk and waited for her to follow him.

Her eyebrows were furrowed and a small shrug indicated that she had no idea where this would lead to, but he just smiled and invited her with his hand to lead the way to the elevator.

Ella did as told and once again she had to trust him. This was no big deal but lately she found herself more and more in personal situations with him where he asked her to trust him and she just accepted him. Where she gave up the control she so desperately fought for with all other people. And to her own surprise it didn’t even annoy her as much as it should. She was fine with doing as he suggested. His ideas normally were good.

In the elevator she pushed the button for the ground floor but once they were down there he didn’t lead her to the exit but the side wing of the building with the training rooms and shooting ranges.

Only then she got an idea what he was about to do. “They won’t let me in with the cast, James.”

“Oh they will. Just let me handle this.”

Ella sighed, not convinced but followed him nevertheless. What else could she do? At least this would be a nice little walk and once they were back here they could grab a coffee from the café close by and get back up into the office and then she could do exactly what he had suggested before: stare at her screen.

The Security officer outside of the shooting range knew her and greeted her with an apologetic look. “Agent Shepard. I’d love to let you in, but... you know the reg...” He never managed to finish the sentence because James made a step forwards.

And with his 6’2’’ he was a tad bigger than the officer and had shoulders twice his size that wasn’t enough to get them in and James knew that as well. “Agent Vega, I’m new here, but I’m part of Shepard’s team. I know you have your rules and all, but this Agent here just got a very personal threat and I thought this might be the better outlet than taking the office apart.”

“Yeah, but...”

“I could of course call Director Anderson and make this official business, but it would certainly let you look like a fool and how much better would it look on your resume if you just thought for yourself and did the right thing when you had to.”

“Sir, I...”

“I am very sure also your boss will make no fuss about this, he owes Shepard since that little incident three weeks ago.”

“Fine... whatever, get in.” He just gave up, realizing that James wouldn’t stop until he let them in. Ella wasn’t sure if Anderson or Bailey would approve of this as much as James let this man believe, but this was exactly what she would have done as well. And in case he had made him call either of them Ella somehow had the feeling he would have gotten what he wanted as well, without calling it was just a bit faster. “You have an hour before people will probably start complaining why they can’t enter.”

“That’s my man, Thanks, buddy.” James smiled and held the door open for Shepard once the Officer had stepped aside.

“You are terrible, James.”

“That’s your way to say thank you? We have to practice that a bit, don’t you think?” But a wide grin donned his face and despite her anger and everything that was going on inside of her, she had to chuckle.

When they had taken their places they didn’t talk for a while. Ella just concentrated on herself and the inner calmness she needed to hit the target. She was a good shooter, not a sharp-shooter, never had the concentrating for that shit, but she was good. But today concentrating was more difficult. It was not her own life per se she feared for. Dying itself was nothing she was afraid of, but what he had said about her team. And Frank dead? How could she have missed that? When had she stopped looking for news of her old comrades? She was ashamed. Since she had joined the FBI she had tried to keep up with all things regarding her old mates, but once the investigation around Cerberus had started and things have gotten tighter with the undercover job... it had become more difficult. She barely had time to keep up her hobbies and most days when she returned home she barely ate something before she went to bed.

Still, she had considered it her job.

“Was he close?” Like he had known what she was thinking of.

Ella sighed and lowered her gun for a moment. “Not exactly. We served in Afghanistan for one tour together. We got along well and he was funny. His wife was pregnant back then and he hoped to be home when the child came.” She had to smile. He had told everyone about it. He had been so excited. More than anyone else she had seen in this situation before.

“Yeah I can imagine. Some of my old mates have been in that situation as well.” He made a break of his own. “Three of them are dead by now. Left their families behind and... One never met his daughter.”

Ella bit her lip and froze for a small moment. She made such a big deal out of her own feelings that she never had thought about the fact that he probably had experienced the very same things as she had. “You still have contact with your comrades?”

“Some,” he answered promptly. “Some of them are not active anymore, have been older than me. Others are deployed right now and all messages they send go of course to their families.”

“Do they keep you in the loop?”

“Nope, I wouldn’t know something happened until I contacted them. Some of them don’t even know me.”

Ella saw what he was telling her. And she had to admit he had a point. Of course it didn’t let the bad feeling fade but she started to realize that she probably couldn’t have known.

“Lost contact to a lot of them after I joined the FBI. Some of them were just comrades as long as we were deployed together or for a training course.”

“Yeah, some of them.” She lifted her gun and sent another round on its way.

“You really expect to know what happened to all of them.” He waited till she took another break.

“No. I know I can’t. It would be ridiculous to believe otherwise.”

“But he knew before you?”

She placed her gun on the counter in front of her and leaned on it with her healthy hand. “Yah,” she said staring at the Glock on the counter.

“It’s not so hard to get that information, Ella. Parts of your service record are out there on the net for more than two years. Now they just have to find people who’ve been there as well.”

“And hacking into databases is one of the things Cerberus is good at. They probably have personnel for that.

“They definitely have. It was maybe just one phone call for him.”

Ella sighed and shook her head. “He really got me with this one.”

James didn’t say anything, but she heard his footsteps coming around the wall that separated their ranges. Ella turned around and leaned now with her backside against the counter. Facing James who was leaning against the wall.

“I know I should be more professional about this, but…”

He sighed. “We all have our weak spots. That is yours; that is the weak spot that will get you every time if the attacker hits close enough to home. But that’s not a big deal.”

“It is James, you said it yourself. I lost control the other night, when he killed Thane and I know I will again should he would attack you or anyone else of the team.”

James smiled for a brief moment. “But he won’t.”

“I know. He can’t risk getting too close to us or he’d be caught.”

James nodded. “We’re fine, Ella. We’ll get him and... Well, you get whatever revenge you need to get.”

She said nothing and lowered her gaze. She didn’t want to arrest him; she didn’t want to visit him in jail. She knew that was what would be right, but all she wanted right now, was kill him, slowly and painfully.

“You are human, Lola. Not the damn robot you pretend to be.”

“I don’t pretend to be a robot but professional. It’s not right to have the thought of killing someone who should be prosecuted and rot in jail.”

“Then make the right decision when it counts. You have done that before.”

She nodded, “yeah I have, but it has never been like this before, that’s the difference.”

He smiled. “We will be here to help and remind you what’s right. Neither of us will watch you throw everything away for that bastard.”

Ella couldn’t help but return the smile when she looked back at him.

“You done here? Because I’m hungry and...”

“Yah, fine.” She said with a sigh. He planned to keep her occupied until Tali called and she was glad for it. He was right; she could make the right decision. She had to, because otherwise everything she had worked and fought for would have been in vain.


	16. Just Dinner

It was a tedious week so far. Of course they had been too late and of course nothing they had done brought them at least a bit closer to him. He had hacked himself in a home Wi-Fi and had sent the message probably while sitting in a car. Ella had expected something like that. Everything else would have been too easy.

They still were trying to find hints using the cameras in the streets yet with no hope of success. But something of more success had been another facility they had found and shut down two days ago. This time parts of the staff had still been inside, so all of them were busy with interrogations and assessing evidence. Sure by now they needed more people than their little team to evaluate everything that came in, but results were of course still sent to them and they decided how to act upon everything.

So every day before lunch and before they left they met for a short briefing on any development, sometimes it was nothing and sometimes it was gathering new ideas.

One day Liara could tell them she had a break through on the virus and explained that this virus was only deadly to people with certain genetic markers. Or so she thought, she hadn’t known it was possible, but she would run some tests with cell samples of volunteers. Of cause all of them came to her lab this afternoon to give her what she needed. And the so very diverse team, full of people from different places in the world was something she appreciated.

But it was also the day Ella’s cast would finally come off. She wore it now for almost 10 weeks and was so sick of this damn thing she couldn’t even put it into words. But due to a complication in her healing she did have to wear it longer than usually and reminded her why she was not on active duty in the Marines anymore. She was a liability.

It had become a habit for James to pick her up in the morning and drive her home in the evening. In the morning he had brought her coffee and she had gotten pretty used to it. Sometimes they had grabbed something to eat in the evening. And she liked that it had let her feel… less lonely. She hadn’t known she had felt like that until she had started to have more social contacts out of work – one social contact in particular.

But today this would end. Ella’s cast would be taken off today. In about ten minutes to be exact. They were on their way to the hospital in James’ car. It was an odd atmosphere and Ella suspected he was having the same thoughts. Even when he offered to drive her there it had been with a strange tone in his voice – pressed and kind of forced.

And Ella’s response? Well, she certainly had tried to act normal, but from his gaze he had given her she knew that she had failed and that he knew.

In the car it only increased. What had felt good for the last four weeks was now giving them both reason to stay quiet and Ella thought to herself that she never should have let it come that far. She should have denied his offer to take her to work that one morning. And nothing of this would have happened. But it would also mean she would have had to go through the difficult moments on her own. When his body was released to be brought back to Israel, when his son had contacted her to talk to her and her team about his father, the evening itself. He had stayed at her apartment that evening, had made breakfast in the morning and again had just been there. They had made a Netflix list for the things they had already seen together, or still wanted to see. And Ella had explained to him on one quiet evening why she was so good with handling all her daily tasks while wearing a cast. She had told him about her father, about his anger and his lack of control. And in return he had told her of his father, not any less an asshole who had done very similar things to his family, even without living with them.

“What do you think, Lola,” he suddenly started talking. “Steaks tonight at my place and we start planning that Halloween Party Joker had suggested?”

“I can’t remember to have agreed to host it…” Ella had needed a short moment to snap out of her thoughts and now shook her head. “I don’t know. I don’t feel like this is a good idea.”

James was quiet for a moment when he left the freeway. “The steaks or the party?” He looked at her while he waited for the lights to turn green.

Ella sighed and looked out of the window, avoiding looking at him and giving him the answer. But she had to. “Hell, James, it’s both and nothing and… complicated.” She now turned her head back to him and their eyes met. “It’s not that I don’t want to, I don’t have to tell you that, you know it. It’s about what we should do. It’s about rational decisions.”

“Ella, I only asked for dinner, the very same thing we have done for like six times in the last two months. Y’know I got it. You don’t want anything more than a friendship and that’s fine. I understand your reasons, more than you probably think. And you’re kinda right, we shouldn’t do it.”

Ella just nodded.

“But that doesn’t rule out that I help you with the party planning for the team.”

She shook her head and chuckled. “You’re incorrigible, you know that?”

“Yeah, I’ve already wondered when you’d notice.”

“The moment I realized that you don’t give up on this,” she said with a smile.

“Right, I never give up. Not when I know I’m right, and something is important enough to me.” He made a break ad threw a quick glance at her. “Or someone.”

“Is there any way I can get this party idea out of your head?” She didn’t comment on the ‘someone’ part of his statement. She knew he liked her and she knew they had become friends, good ones, despite all her efforts his stubbornness about this had been a good thing, she realized.

It was now him who chuckled. “Yeah, but you wouldn’t like it.”

“Do I even wanna hear it?”

Now he was outright laughing. “No, Lola, I’m pretty sure you don’t. It would involve a few things you’re not too keen on.”

Ella started to laugh with him. “So it involves dancing and fancy clothes and probably no food.”

“Oh there would be food, Lola, don’t worry about that. You’re terrible when you’re hungry.”

“Hey I’m not that bad.”

“Oh yes you are – even worse.”

She just laughed for a moment. “Yeah okay, maybe I am. You know me all too well, huh?”

“Good enough to change the steaks for Hamburgers and know you can’t resist the invitation for dinner tonight.”

“Sure I can…” Or she could at least pretend to.

“No, you don’t Lola.” He smiled winningly when he stopped the car in front of the hospital.

“No… I don’t.” Her eyebrows wiggled once. “Okay, you won. Since my car is still at home anyway I am still a bit dependent on your help for today. But what about that: my place, I pay, but for both our health you cook. Though, I’m not bad with burgers.”

“Probably, you said you lived on them on military college. You don’t look starved to me. But I’m still better.”

“Yah, most certainly you are.”

He grinned when he followed her into the hospital. He could at least this one evening pretend things would stay this way. Things would be like the past weeks, like they were actually friends. There was still a chance she would eventually accept it, but he wouldn’t go all in on that.


	17. Dancing

She laughed and leaned against the couch behind her. She held up the coin and shook her head, a few strands of her warm brown hair falling into her face.

“Nope, I can’t do it.”

“You have to practice, it’s not that hard, believe me. You will learn in no time, Lola. C’mon, let me show you again.” He took the coin from her and smiled warmly when his fingers brushed over hers.

Ella returned that smile, before her eyes dropped to his hand and watched his fingers flipping the coin through his fingers – slow at first, but then faster with each time he started anew. Ella had never expected his hands being so… nimble. His hands were fitting his height and built, so they weren’t exactly small and… it made her smile just a bit more.

She took a sip from her wine to cover her stupid smile, but knew she had failed when he looked at her the way he did when he grabbed for his beer after he had placed the coin on the table in front of them. Ella picked up the coin once her hands were free again and looked at it.

“I don’t think I can do it. This needs more practice than I’m going to invest, to be honest. I’m not that patient,” she grinned crookedly at him.

“Oh don’t tell me you’re giving up.” It was like he couldn’t believe it. The mighty Shepard giving up.

“I’m just telling you that there are different things I’m more interested in learning than this. As neat as it is.”

He chuckled and got up from the floor they were sitting on for no particular reason. Ella couldn’t even tell how they had ended up in front of the couch instead of on it. But it had probably something to do with these delicious burgers they had eaten earlier.

James walked towards the stereo and turned it a bit louder. Ella watched him with curiosity and raised her eyebrows when he stretched out one of his hands invitingly.

“What the hell you’re doing?” Did she sound shocked? Yeah she probably did.

“Finding something else to teach you, something more fun.” He smiled winningly, his hand still outstretched. Even now he didn’t give up.

Ella looked at him for another moment until she finally realized, or better admitted that he was trying to do. “Oh, you’re not trying to make me dance, right?”

“Actually I am,” he said smiling.

“James I spent the last few years spreading the myth of me being unable to dance and embarrassed myself several times to keep it up. I won’t start ruining that now.” And yet there was something that almost made her get up from the floor between couch and coffee table.

“It’s just the two of us,” he said with a grin. “’sides, who am I supposed to tell about this, huh? You are the only one I would tell about it, but with you already bein’ here…”

Ella sighed and rolled her eyes. This evening had been so damn relaxed and they had been so particularly comfortable around each other, she found herself on her feet before she felt like she’d consciously had made the decision. It felt more like an instinct. She smiled and shook her head when she walked closer to James, who still offered his hand to her.

It was somehow an almost awkward moment when their hands touched; he pulled her closer and slid his other hand around her waist until it rested on the small of her back – in a good way. Both of them couldn’t stop the soft chuckling and Ella had to drop her gaze for a moment biting her lip.

Being so close to him, their bodies not quite but almost pressed against each other… a moment later she had to correct this thought, because he pulled her a bit closer and she laughed when he said it wouldn’t be real dancing if they weren’t doing it right. Ella wanted to complain but he simply “shush”-ed her. So eventually she just shook her head, resigned to her fate and let him lead.

“So, you said you can’t dance.” He tried to keep that tone out of his voice that told her he was pleasantly surprised.

She laughed, looking up at him. “I said I spread the myth that I couldn’t.”

“Which obviously is just myth.”

“Nah, I’m really not good at it,” she admitted with a smile. “But… a friend taught me a bit for… personal benefit.” She let out a sound of surprise when he pushed her from him and spun her around, just to pull her back against him – this time even a bit tighter.

“This friend must have been very persuasive.”

“Yah,” she nodded. “You two would have gotten along pretty well.”

“You two were close, huh?”

Ella nodded her smile being a bit less bright. “Yes, very. We met in basic training at Parris Island and somehow he got to me, with this persistent annoying way he had about him.” Ella shrugged with a more open smile again. “He was stubborn.”

James chuckled. “Yeah I see why we would get long. Guess you haven’t made it easy for him.” Ella knew he swallowed the ‘either’ at the end of his sentence.

“Of course not. I don’t have to explain to you that being a soldier makes it even more likely to die and leave the person you… are together with alone.” And James noticed that she had avoided the word ‘love’.

He nodded. “True, but what if you don’t die?” He looked at her with a small smile, but there was a deep seriousness in his eyes.

“Well, then I don’t die.” Ella was a bit confused about his question. Or not exactly confused, she knew of course what he meant but she had no idea what to answer to it. Nothing would happen if she didn’t die, she would just live on.

“Seriously, Lola?” He seemed almost shocked. “You rule out to be happy just that easy?”

She furrowed her brows and she her head slightly. “Who says I’m not happy?”

James frowned and turned them around with the swing of the slow jazz coming from the stereo.

“I could tell you that nobody is happy all alone,” he said after a moment of silence except for the music. “But it’s not that. It‘s the way your eyes gleam when we’re together. The way you opened up in the past weeks and how much more relaxed you are and let shine through who you really are. Something you hide from everyone to save them from getting too attached to you, in case something might happen to you.”

“James…,” she tried to interrupt him.

“But maybe they are aware that it might happen and think the risk is worth it – that you are worth it. Have you ever even considered this?”

Ella bit her lip and was barely able to look at him. He was closer to home than he knew.

“Hey,” he whispered, waiting for her to look at him again. “No one can make you do anything, and that’s not what this is about, but… just think about what it means for the people around you – those who love you.”

She looked at him with a face that made clear that no one had told her that they loved her n a very long time. She had understood quite perfectly what he had been telling her and what the intention behind it was.

“I… can’t let that happen, James. I have been exactly there and I know so well what it feels like. I don’t want people I love go through it. I’m not worth it.”

They had stopped moving and just stood here still holding each other.

“You really think that?” He asked and let go of her hand to lift his hand and place it on the side of her face, his thumb brushing gently over her cheek. “Then let me tell you that you’re worth a lot more than just this. Because no matter if you are letting them in or not, they’re still feeling the same way about you. Just from a bit further away. And if that what you fear should happen, they will just regret what could have been because they’re left with nothing more than their imagination.”

Ella had wanted to protest, make him shut up. Because she knew all of this far too well. He needn’t tell her how it felt when you regret such a thing and you wish you’d have a few memories of what could have been. But the way he looked at her let her stay silent, while he told her how he felt about her. Ella was completely aware that this was about nobody else than the two of them. She eventually nodded. Just once. She had understood what he had wanted to tell her. She couldn’t say anything or even think about it. Too deep was the conflict she felt herself in between what her mind was telling her and what her heart told her.

To her surprise he didn’t say anything else and just started to move again. And so the just danced without saying a single more word, like nothing had happened… though, maybe not like that, but more like they didn’t need to talk anymore.

Only when the CD ended they stopped. James looked at her with a smile. “So, now about this party. We should do some planning, it it’s about to happen.”

Ella gave him a surprised glance and furrowed her brows. Was he serious?

“Well, unless you want me to go.” And his eyes told her he would understand, considering what he had just told her.

Ella watched him for a moment until a tiny smile appeared on her lips. “No. I don’t want you to go. I think, you’re right – we should actually do some planning. And besides you really shouldn’t drive after those beers you had.”

He chuckled and shook his head. “I’d have taken a taxi.”

“Yah sure and spend a fortune. Forget it.” She nodded towards the couch and walked to the stereo. Standing there she considered for a moment to change the CD, but then just started it anew. Jazz worked well for them and she had liked the mood they had been in most of the evening.


	18. More & New Leads

As the month moved on and they could decipher more and more data from the different Cerberus servers they had found in the facilities they were able to find even more of these facilities. Each time with frightening amounts of data based on human test subjects. Ella wondered once where Cerberus had managed to find so many scientists without a conscience. But Liara told her that a lot of people of all different branches were able to forget their ethics when they got unlimited supplies and budgets. Cutting edge tech and labs and all the money you ever dreamed of. Depending they have the same ideology as Cerberus... it was even easier. And then there were those, James had reminded them that claimed to be forced to work for Cerberus. Some scientists they had found in these labs had told them Cerberus held their children captive or something like that. They have never found a trace of these children, so it could be true or they could just live peacefully with Cerberus. Though Ella tended to believe the most of them. It just suited Cerberus.

Due to another of these facilities the planned party had to be delayed for another time it wouldn’t be Halloween then, but they could keep the decorations for next year and the alcohol for another evening they would spend together.

And this facility had been the last puzzle piece for them to decipher a particular file they had placed a lot of hopes on. And they’d been right, it was the first time they faced the term “Test Run Thessia”.

And the term “test run” alarmed all of them. Had it until now looked like Cerberus was still in a stage of developing the virus they seemed to be much more progressed than Ella and her team had feared.

After digging into the files they could find the name of a scientist who had proved that it is possible to create diseases who only affect people with certain genetic characteristics, like brown hair or a dark skin. It was a lab only test run he had made, but had been paid by the CIA to do this. With Ella’s contacts she still had in the Agency she could find out where he was actually to be found. To her surprise it was east Africa, right where Ebola was raging right now and killed hundreds of people. And he put all his efforts in this to end the situation, before it could get any worse.

Travelling into the area was impossible, but it was possible to talk to him via video conference. He was at first hesitant but eventually agreed to give them access to all of his files. He had planned to travel back into the states this week anyway, and could spare some time to help their doctor with her research on the virus.

That was all Ella could ask for, but if Cerberus was about to run tests with this disease she needed to know what they were facing here and how much they were in danger.

Because as much as their diversity had helped Liara to get a hint on what Cerberus was planning, it now also put them in danger if this disease was actually targeting people of color. Each one of them had more or less a background of color, Ella with her father from India, Garrus from Pakistan, Tali’s family who came from Ghana, James with roots in Mexico. And Also Liara herself with her Greek heritage wasn’t exactly what Cerberus was fighting for. So for all of them there was a danger to be target of this disease if Cerberus actually wanted to do what Ella feared.

The first thing they could find on Thessia was a school. The school itself was called “Sanctuary” and aimed for children with a particularly high IQ and talents in most fields. From a first closer look they saw that they had an expert’s team taking care of the sports teams, as well as the science branch of the school. What they lacked were arts. There were extracurricular activities that centered on speaking and stage presence, but more with a political focus.

They also didn’t seem to care too much what happened with the sports students once they had left the school, as Edi could tell them from the database of former students. Most of them never made it into any professional league, because of injuries or the lack of support from the side of the school. Completely different to those who decided for a political or scientific career.

It was Garrus who threw in the thought that they probably just needed the sports guys to run tests on them or find out what it was that made them so successful, or healthier or faster than others. James, who seemed to be more interested in pop culture, threw in that it sounded a bit like Captain America.

Tali retorted that at the moment it also sounded a bit like X-Man, looked at it from the right angle. A school for specifically gifted children. While Liara mentioned she was a bit more reminded of the “Lebensborn” project. A project where Hitler had tried to breed Aryan children during the Third Reich, forcing women to give birth to children in secrecy and even abducting children, when they found one which fit into the profile. This, especially considering Cerberus background, reminded her a lot of it.

It dampened the mood a lot, but everyone agreed that she had a point and they definitely should visit this school ASAP.

The second thing that was mentioned was a benefit event in New York in three weeks at the Museum of Modern Arts. A few hundred visitors were expected to collect money and look at art from all countries especially from the Africa and Middle East. It was a fund raiser for schools and charity work in areas who have suffered from war and give children a better, more healthy and promising future. Or a future at all.

There was another mention, but right now they couldn’t make sense of it and the relations to the Greek company who was mentioned there weren’t the best, to put it mildly so all they could do was waiting for the officials work out how they could get the information they needed. The team decided that they would concentrate on the two leads they had right now.

What meant Garrus lead a team together with Tali and Kaidan, who had rejoined the team this week on his own wish – turning down another and probably better offer – to look into the Gallery thing, while Ella James and Liara would give this school a visit.

This time it was strange to sit so close to James on the plane after they had kept some distance after that little dance of theirs on that evening at her place. Not because they had changed their minds, but because Ella had to find out what this was and James wanted to give her the opportunity. A lot of words have been said that evening that probably shouldn’t and what made it even more difficult for them. They kept it strictly professional in public and kept their distance when alone. They knew for now it would be the better way of action.

Because of a mistake made by the airline Liara didn’t sit with them, but two rows behind them. What left Ella once again pressed between James and a stranger who hadn’t been willing to give up his seat on the aisle for one in the middle. And to her deep regret, the man was also not exactly small, what left Ella with even less space than normally. She tried the balance act not to touch any of them too much. Things between her and James were difficult as they were even without any more bodily contact and even more as every contact of skin managed to have some effect on her.

But it was impossible to prevent that, when on the other side someone else was sitting, with whom making contact was not strangely pleasant but quite the opposite. So once again she found herself leaning closer to him - more than she should and should want to. But after an hour they relaxed a bit and distracted them from this feeling with work. Ella took out the tablet and read through everything they had gathered on the school and checked on any progress Garrus and his team had made so far.

This worked fine until they landed and eventually had to leave the plane. Getting out of their lane, standing close, staring at each other they occupied the aisle between the seats until a man behind Ella asked them not exactly friendly to move their asses.

And he had every right to. But they hadn’t been able to help it in any way. His smell, the warmth of his body, his arm keeping her from stumbling... everything reminded both of the situation in front of the bar some months ago. And like then both of them froze for a moment and just stared at each other. Childish, clichéd behavior and terrible stupid, but they couldn’t help it. There was a lot they would have to work out once this case was over.


	19. For The Gifted

The school was a wide area of buildings in a modern architecture style. Considering it has been built in the eighties as a research facility it must have been cutting edge architecture back then. And even today it still seemed futuristic and reminded of Science-Fiction Shows Ella used to watch.

Staring at a great glass dome James snorted. “I bet half of the people enterin’ it expect people complaining about Cylons.”

Ella grinned and shook her head. The last show they had watched had been Battlestar Galactica and at some point he had started to see references to everything they watched together and make remarks about it. Ella still tried to figure out if he had done this even before they knew each other. “Cloud Nine wasn’t even a thing when this was built.”

“The original Series was.”

“But I doubt it looked like that.” She had never managed to make herself watch the original series, so she seriously wouldn’t know.

As was James apparently. “Still, it reminds me of it and I would start mentioning it whenever I would have to enter there.”

Liara snorted amused. “I doubt they’d accept you here, James.”

“Hey, I was a damn good Center in High School. Some Colleges have asked, but I preferred military over college. Especially the local one.”

Both woman looked at him with a smile, but barely surprised. “Yah, I can imagine that, little James surrounded by cheer leaders and …” she swallowed the rest of the sentence.

But he knew what she had wanted to say. “Yeah, I know in the shadow of the QB who got all the girls and attention. Which he only got because I did a good job. And know what? Didn’t care. It was a team effort and we were a good team, had a good coach who never failed to mention that.”

Ella didn’t know what Liara thought right now, but Ella believed him. He was a team player. A real one. He didn’t care so much if he did the most part or someone else. Everyone would have their moment on a team and in the end it only counted what they had done together because no one could have done it alone. Which was beside everything else it was always a good thing to have him around. And why he would be a very good senior agent once he got his own team.

They were expected by the principal and he offered them to show them around while they talked. It was a lot about promoting and supporting those with a gifted mind and body. Both should learn to profit from one another and make working together in the future more profitable in the society once they leave the school. Ella listened to him quietly and for the moment didn’t ask questions. She would, but for now she was more interested in just hearing his goals and find out what this was truly about. Sure she agreed that from what he was telling them there was a lot of support for scientific and political careers. Most students left here with a sponsorship or at least a partly scholarship for one of the top universities in the country. She could see that the school was impressively funded. When she asked him about it he told her that a lot of corporations and private investors would offer generous donations to support their effort to promote scientists born in this beautiful country.

Ella barley could hide the roll of her eyes and had to look away upon this statement. Of course a lot of people were willing to donate for a racist cause like this. Promoting gifted children and offering the education they need is a great goal, but it should be offered to everyone.

All three of them shared a short moment of glances after this statement, since each of them had an immigration background, at least partly. All three of them were so far away from any Aryan standard it has let them face some kind of racism in their lives at some point. All of them had learned to live with it and face the truth that it wouldn’t change anytime soon, but standing here in a school dedicated to support racism... that was something entirely different. Even more so as the principal had no shame in telling them right to their faces about it and a bit more hidden – that probably none of them would ever have been accepted here. While Ella suspected if all of them could have proved they and their parents and three generations before them were Americans, they would have been potentially. Liara clearly for her brains. It was impressive. Ella for her leading skills and analytical talents and James for his muscles and body type. He was probably exactly the type they used here to hook up with people like Liara to breed strong and intelligent babies.

And Ella was disgusted by this thought. Though at least they seemed better at it than the people in Guernon. At least until now. Because in the background they were checking all the backgrounds of the school funding, ties, the selection procedure for the children to find any possible inconstancy that would give them a reason to get a warrant and take this place apart.

Dr. Lawson, the principal himself only told them so much about the selection procedure that parents were offered to place their children on a list and a jury of highly qualified academics, teachers, scientists and psychologists would look into it and decide eventually after a test if the child was qualified for the school. Good grades were not the only thing that a child would need to be part of this - a stable mind and a certain behavior was part of it as well. They would of course teach these children to behave appropriately for their future position as role models for others but there had to be certain preconditions.

Ella realized she probably wouldn’t have been accepted after all, because she could never have met these requirements. Her initial problems with authorities had been… intense. And only thanks to the marines she had managed to deal with them – well, most of the time.

She pretended to need to go to the rest room and called Edi, while Liara and James kept the principal busy with more questions.

“Edi, take a closer look at the selection procedure and about the origin of the children, and then compare the pictures of the children to missing children throughout the country. I have a feeling about this and it might be our way in. He had mentioned a scholarship program for orphans and… unprivileged children. That should probably be your focus. See if you can find anything out of the ordinary here. Call me when you got something. I have to get back outside.” She ended the phone call immediately and left the rest room.

With a strained smile the principal continued his little tour until they arrived at his office. “Now, my dear Agents, I have told you everything that is there to know. And if I can’t help you with anything else, you might want to explain you interest in our school, because even if you have told my secretary that your case was classified, I was able to find out what you are working on, Agent Shepard and what leaves me wondering what brings you here to us in the first place.” He made small pause offering them to enter his office with him. “It is no secret that it was Cerberus who had founded the school almost thirty years ago. But after their goals had come out we have tied all ted to them and relied on more trustworthy sources for funding and donations as well as liaisons. The list of our investors is public and visible on our homepage as well as here at the school, if you want to take a look at it.

Ella nodded with a forced smile. Of course he knew who she was. And of course he had made sure that everything was clean here. But Edi would find that loophole for them. Just a tiny little brick to tear down everything here what felt so wrong and twisted.

They still tried to keep the conversation up while Ella waited for a hint from Edi. Ella managed to turn the conversation in another direction she truly was interested in. “Dr. Lawson, there are other questions I would want to ask, maybe over lunch if you could afford the time?”

She could see his forced smile and that in fact he could think of about thirty other things he’s prefer to do, but since it would be too obvious after he had promised to free his whole day for this visit, he had to say yes. “Of, course Agent Shepard, maybe start right now, with the first one while we walk to the cafeteria.”

“With pleasure. How does your sports program fit in all this mostly scientific background here?” She know what would come next, she had read and heard it in books and several movies before with a similar story to them.

He smiled – this time a bit more genuine. “Mens sana in corpore sano, which…”

“We know what it means, Doctor, we were educated as well.” In fact she wasn’t sure how much Latin James had in his life but she was sure that he at least had heard of it.

“Oh, yes, of course. I sometimes forget that Agents like you have visited a university or at least state college as well.”

“United Stated Naval Academy, to be exact and in Dr. T’soni’s case, several of the best – worldwide.” It was ridiculous to prove a point in letting him know that all of them have been on highly reputated Universities, but she was so disgusted by this man… His attitude to let them feel lesser than him, just he had a Doctor’s title she hadn’t was upsetting her to no end and she couldn’t wait for Edi to call her back. Ella was absolutely sure that there was something. “But back to the question I asked you, Dr. Lawson. What is it that makes a sports program for a mostly scientific school so interesting?”

Lawson looked at her slight irritated, but Ella pretended to not see it or not to care about it, with being the latter the truth. “We try to give our students a purpose with their research and what is there greater than improving the success of someone who in real life profits from it, not just in a simulation.” And led to more explanations how the science and management based students use the sports teams as projects. Which explained to Ella why they sport students weren’t as successful after graduation. Amateur managers handled their future and they would have been better off on any state college for a real career. But some of them probably never had a choice in this.

During lunch she tried to keep the principal talking about all kinds of bullshit. Like the medical care for the students which was provided by a top team of M.D.s handpicked by the leader of the medical branch, unsurprisingly most of them former students themselves.

They were already on the way back to the main building when Shepard’s phone rang and she saw the desired name on the display. “Excuse me, Dr. Lawson, I have to take this.” She gave a meaningful glance to James and Liara before she turned around and took a few steps away from the little group.

“Tell me you got something,” she whispered into the phone as soon as she had taken the call.

“I do, Shepard. At least three of the kids match missing person’s reports from different places in the country. The most recent one is a year old. Seven year old Katee Garner vanished on her way home from school. She is a blonde little girl with a talent in all kinds of logical fields. In her age it is not clear if…”

“Skip that part, Edi, stick to the important stuff.”

“Yes,” the woman with a mild form of Asperger’s syndrome took no offense in this but even appreciated when she was stopped before she could get “lost” in details no one needed. “Like her seven other kids disappeared over the last five years; all of them blonde, in most cases very young and always with an immense high intelligence.”

Ella couldn’t say how much she was disgusted by this. The kidnapped little kids for their purposes? Then what? The held them here hostage? What did they tell them? That their parents didn’t want them anymore? Why… and then she remembered how easy it was to tell a little girl who was scared that her parents didn’t love her anymore and that they have abandoned her. She had been that girl and knew so fucking well that it was extremely simple.

“Shepard? Are you still there?”

“Uh.. yeah, still here. So what now?” Her head was snapping out of her thoughts and was back onto the task, taking this place apart and get these kids home.

“The warrant is on its way with a task force, they’ll arrive in a few minutes. The director has briefed them himself after I found the first match and the warrant includes all areas, since I found some other inconsistencies with the medical reports, payments from an account I could relate to Cerberus and payments into private accounts in fourteen cases over the past seven years.”

“They did what?” Ella couldn’t believe it. This was almost too much for her. These were children and these bastards…

“I can’t say what they paid for with the money but there is already a team looking into this and locating the account-holders receiving the money.”

“I have a damn good idea what they do with the money – and he will pay for that. But good, I’ll keep him busy until the team arrives. They should better hurry; I’m out of conversation options.”

“I think more likely is that you do something that’s getting you into problems, Shepard.”

“I know Edi. But it’s just a few minutes, before I can arrest him, right?”

“Seven, to be exact, referring to their GPS signal.”

“Good, I’ll let you know if I need anything else, thanks. Oh and keep an eye on this place, just in case, okay?”

“Of course, Shepard.”

She managed to keep her rage under control, but barely. All she wanted to do was punch this fucker in his arrogant face until his racist brain was coming out of his ears. But she couldn’t so she hid her anger under an arrogant smile of her own, that showed her team she had what she wanted and made the principal wonder.

“Something worked the way you had intended, Agent Shepard?”

She smiled a bit wider and nodded. “You could say that, even more than that.” She slowly raised her left arm a d took painfully slow a look on her watch. Using her mobile she still head in her hand would have been quicker, but this was putting up a show until she could put him in cuffs. “In about five minutes,” she started and now put her phone into her pocket of her leather jacket and closed the zipper of the pocket. “This place will be crawling with FBI. You won’t be surprised that I can’t let you make any phone calls now anymore and you will even be less surprised that running won’t do you any good, because this mind is living in an extraordinary healthy body which will get you if you try to run.” She said all of this the smile still on her face and her voice dangerously calm. James hadn’t seen her like that and Liara knew that Shepard was so very close to strangle this guy.

“And what do you suggest, Agent Shepard I should do?”

“Confess? Or we just wait, if you rather let us take a video of all that.”

He let out a huff and smiled wryly. “I don’t even know what crimes I’m charged with.”

Ella shrugged. “Then, I fear, we will have to wait until we meet in a nice interrogation room and I can read them to you. I fear my limited brain is not capable of keeping track with all of them.”

Two minutes of staring between the two of them, passed until the principal’s phone rang in his pocket. “Yes, I am aware of this,” he said, not taking his eyes off Shepard. “I was informed about this just two minutes ago, but was incapable to prepare you. No, I don’t think that is necessary. Just lead these gentlemen... and ladies to their desired destinations.”

Ella shook her head. She couldn’t believe that he just gave up. There must be some emergency protocol in actions. Something that would prevent all information to be handed over to authorities. She couldn’t... With a quick movement she had her phone out of her pocket again and had called Edi on speed dial. “Cut the electricity here. Now, Edi. And take a look at the servers, I expect there’s something happening over here, you should better stop.”

“I’m already on it. The self-deletion process is still loading and I’m half way through the server’s firewall. It’s using a Cerberus decryption which makes it easier for me. I would have started earlier but due to laws and regulations my hands were tied. There might be a minimal data loss, but I don’t expect it.”

Ella listened to all of this, her eyes trained on the principal who waited for her reaction as much as her two team members beside her. She felt their eyes on her and just waited for Edi to tell her she got it, while she listened now to the hacker’s fingers hitting the keyboard at what sounded like lightning speed.

Painful moments of waiting turned into what felt like an eternity. And what Edi stopped typing Ella held her breath.

“I got it Shepard. The deletion process is stopped and only 0.27 percent data is lost.”


End file.
